in all things

Five Short Words

2012-02-08T18:11:00.000-06:00

"My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory and storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head. This thing is from ME.

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you, concerns Me too? For, "he that touches you, touches the apple of my eye" (Zech 2:8). You are very precious in My sight (Isaiah 43:4). Therefore, it is My special delight to educate you.

I would have you learn when temptation assail you, and the "enemy comes in like a flood," that this thing is from Me, that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, who never consult your taste, who put you in the background? This thing is from Me. I am the God of circumstances.

Thou camest not to thy place by accident, it is the very place God meant for thee.

Have you not asked to be made humble? See then, I have placed you in the very school where this lesson is taught; your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard to make both ends meet? This thing is from Me, for I am your purse-bearer and would have you draw from and depend on Me. My supplies are limitless (Philippians 4: 19). I would have you prove my promises. Let it not be said of you, "In this thing you did not believe the Lord your God" (Deuteronomy 1:32).

Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me. I am the Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief. I have let earthly comforters fail you, that by turning to Me you may obtain everlasting consolations (II Thessalonians 2:16-17). Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead have been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? This thing is from Me. I could not get your attention in your busy days and I want to teach you some of My deepest lessons. "They also serve who only stand and wait." Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service, that they may learn to wield the weapon of all-prayer.

This day I place in your hand this pot of holy oil. Make use of it free, My child. Let every circumstance that arises, every word that pains you, every interruption that would make you impatient, every revelation of your weakness be anointed with it. The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things." - Laura A. Barter Snow

"This is from Me," the Savior said,
As bending low He kissed my brow,
"For One who loves you thus has led.
Just rest in Me, be patient now,
Your Father knows you have need of this,
Tho', why perchance you cannot see -
Grieve not for the things you've seemed to miss.
The thing I send is best for thee."

Then looking through my tears, I plead,
"Dear Lord, forgive, I did not know,
Twill not be hard since Thou dost tread,
Each path before me here below.
And for my good this thing must be,
His grace sufficient for each test,
So still I'll sing, 'Whatever be
God's way for me is always best."

Excerpt from 'Streams in the Desert.'

Do Not Look

2012-02-08T11:42:00.000-06:00

"Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear. Rather look at them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them. He has kept you hitherto; do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms.

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same everlasting Father who cares for you today, will take care of you tomorrow, and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations." - Francis De Sales

This morning as I read this excerpt from Streams in the Desert, fear about my future was squelched from welling up within me. I exchanged fear for security from the Truth that my future is in God's hands.

Psalm 31:15 - ... My future is in YOUR hands.

If We Could See

2012-02-02T08:46:00.000-06:00

"If we could see beyond today
As God can see;
If all the clouds should roll away,
The shadows flee;
O'er present griefs we would not fret.
Each sorrow we would soon forget,
For many joys are waiting yet
For you and me.

"If we could know beyond today
As God doth know,
Why dearest treasures pass away
And tears must flow;
And why the darkness leads to light,
Why dreary paths will soon grow bright;
Some day life's wrongs will be made right,
Faith tells us so.

"'If we could see, if we could know,'
We often say,
But God in love a veil doth throw
Across our way;
We cannot see what lies before,
And so we cling to Him the more,
He leads us till this life is o'er;
Trust and obey."

Excerpt from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman

What is Real?

2012-01-30T11:01:00.001-06:00

This is an excerpt from Proverbs 31 ministries that I read this morning. The author, Holly Good, captured my heart cries to God perfectly.

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

Has your trust ever been shattered by someone you love? A few years ago I was faced with a very unsettling situation. I was shocked when I learned of hidden sin that had spun its way into the life of someone I care about deeply.

For weeks, I pleaded with God on my knees for an explanation, for understanding, for clarity. My sense of reality had been threatened and betrayed. I desperately cried out, “What is real Lord? Tell me what is real. Because what I thought was real may not be.”

One night as I went to bed, I tried to make peace with the fact that maybe I was never supposed to understand this devastating circumstance. There were many questions, but few answers. Many thoughts, but few explanations. The next morning, during my quiet time, the Lord gently began to reveal some answers to my wounded heart.

I was reminded of my need for Him – my never-ending, all-consuming need for Him. Too often I take my eyes off of the Lord and attempt to live difficult situations in my own strength. Colossians 3:1-2 profoundly challenged me, “Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (NIV 1984). Unfortunately, my focus had shifted to my questions and myself. And apart from God, my focus had become distorted.

I was reminded that I needed to continue to seek the Lord and patiently wait for what He had in store. I began to beg the Lord to take this hurt away. Make it disappear, Lord. But then I’d sense Him saying to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). By admitting my frailty, God was able to affirm His strength in me.

And finally, He pointed me to what is real. He gently reminded me that He is real. My God is real. Though on this earth I will face many stressful situations, many disappointments, and many hurts, I know that my God is real and He will never leave me. I once again found loving comfort in the words from Moses to Joshua in Deuteronomy 31:8, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (NIV 1984). I knew I had to completely depend on God and believe in His goodness.

My assignment in this difficult circumstance was clear. The Lord was asking me to continue to pray, believe, trust, seek, wait and focus on Him and Him alone. I am so thankful that nothing will ever separate me from His unfailing love. And THAT my friend is real.

Dear Lord, thank You for the life lessons You teach me each day. Give me renewed strength as I wait on You. Help me to continue to desire You and to seek You through each situation I will face. I want to completely depend on You, God. I love You Lord, and I trust You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

www.Proverbs31.org

What Seems Impossible

2011-11-22T07:19:00.000-06:00

"Do you believe that I am able to do this?" - Matthew 9:28

God deals with impossibilities. It is never too late for Him to do so, when the impossible is brought to Him, in full faith, by the one in whose life and circumstances the impossible must be accomplished if God is to be glorified. If in our own life there have been rebellion, unbelief, sin, and disaster, it is never too late for God to deal triumphantly with these tragic facts if brought to him in full surrender and trust. It has often been said, and with truth, that Christianity is the only religion that can deal with man's past. God can "restore" ...the years the locusts have eaten." (Joel 2:25); and He will do this when we put the whole situation and ourselves unreservedly and believingly into His hands. Not because of what we are but because of what He is. God forgives and heals and restores. He is "the God of all grace." Let us praise Him and trust Him. - From Sunday School Times

Nothing is too hard for Jesus
No man can work like Him.

"We have a God who delights in impossibilities." Nothing is too hard for Him. - Andrew Murray

Excerpt from Streams in the Dessert, Mrs. Charles Cowman

Mandisa: Stronger - Official Lyric Video

2011-11-19T10:33:00.001-06:00

Strength to Equal Our Days

2011-11-19T10:19:00.000-06:00

...show us your strength, O God, as you have done before.
- Psalm 68:28

Excerpt from Streams in the Dessert, Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

We are "strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man." And the strength is continuous; reserves of power come to us which we cannot exhaust.

"As thy days, so shall thy strength be" - strength of will, strength of affection, strength of judgment, strength of ideals and achievement.

"The Lord is my strength" to go on. He gives us power to tread the dead level, to walk the long lane that seems never to have a turning, to go through those long reaches of life which afford no pleasant surprise, and which depress the spirits in the sameness of a terrible drudgery.

"The Lord is my strength" to go up. He is to me the power by which I can climb the Hill Difficulty and not be afraid.

"The Lord is my strength" to go down. It is when we leave the bracing heights, where the wind and the sun have been about us, and when we begin to come down the hill into closer and more sultry spheres, that the heart is apt to grow faint.

I heard a man say the other day concerning his growing physical frailty, "It is coming down that tires me!"

"The Lord is my strength" to sit still. And how difficult is the attainment! Do we not often say to one another, in seasons when we are compelled to be quiet, "If only I could do something!"

When the child is ill, and the mother stands by in comparative impotence, how severe is the test! "The Lord is my strength!" Our sufficiency is of God.
- From The Silver Lining.

Thank you Lord Jesus that you provide us strength that equal our days. Grace upon grace, just the perfect amount for today.

...your strength will equal your days. - Deuteronomy 33:25

Strong in the Lord

2011-01-14T11:33:00.003-06:00

"There are no fair weathered soldiers in God's army. All must endure difficulty. Our courage must be tried and proven. God's ships never go to sea without being tested, and only when their seaworthiness is proven do they go on longer voyages. Unless you have been through a great trial, you cannot help those who are in great difficulty.

If we were placed in a glass case, we would not grow. If we were never injured, there would be no forgiving grace. Without suffering, we would not have patience. We grow in grace only when the stormy winds of trials blow. It is through harsh experiences that believers grow "strong in the Lord and in the power of His might " (Ephesians 6:10). Christian, when Satan tests and tries you, hold the world loose but firmly grip the invisible things of God.

It is possible that God might use you to scatter His seed with a hand that was never wounded, but He will not use you to minister to the brokenhearted until trials have made you tender and sensitive. Your present, painful experience is a necessary preparation for something that will give you tenfold joy. If we are not tested, we cannot be victorious. The rule of the kingdom is: no battle, no crowns; no conflict, no conquest." - C.H. Spurgeon

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. - I Peter 1:6-8 (NIV)

He Will Be With You

2011-01-13T10:52:00.000-06:00

"Jesus Christ is in every pang that rips your heart and in every pain that tears your body.

Every stormy sea that has tossed you has roared around His boat too. There is no adversity so dark, so deep, or so apparently pathless that you cannot discover the Crucified One's footsteps when you kneel. In the fires, in the rivers, in the cold night, and under the burning sun He cries:

Fear not I am with you, O be not dismayed,
For I am your God, I will still give you aid:
I'll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call you to go,
The rivers of sorrow will not overflow,
For I will be with you, your trials to bless,
And sanctify to you your deepest distress.
When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie,
My grace all-sufficient shall be your supply
The flames shall not hurt you, I only design
Your dross to consume and your gold to refine."
- C.H. Spurgeon

Read Isaiah 43:1-3

Healing is in Your Hand sung by Christy Nockels

2010-10-26T10:31:00.002-05:00

This morning, I'm enjoying a worship song based upon Romans 8:37-39. "In all things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us...." Let this truth wash over your soul as you listen to it.

Joni Eareckson Tada on Something Greater than Healing | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

2010-10-17T16:45:00.000-05:00

Joni Eareckson Tada on Something Greater than Healing | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

Stacey Kramer: The best gift I ever survived | Video on TED.com

2010-10-17T14:42:00.000-05:00

Stacey Kramer: The best gift I ever survived | Video on TED.com

Through the Valley

2010-10-07T11:37:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I was struggling with fear and dread about my upcoming surgery, scheduled for Tuesday, October 19th. Fearing the surgeon will find more cancer in my body while he's performing my hysterectomy. Fearing that ovarian cancer will be discovered before my ovaries are removed to prevent the disease. Crazy I know, but once you've had cancer the lens in which you view your health is changed forever.

I sought the Scriptures to combat my dread and fear. This morning as I was reading from a devotional by C.H. Spurgeon, I read four of his writings about the 23rd Psalm.

This is a familiar Psalm known as the "Shepherd Psalm." It's one often used at the end of life. I've heard it read at funerals to reassure the grieving who gather to remember a loved one.

What struck me today, was in verse 4, where it says, "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect me and comfort me." (New Living Translation)

C.H. Spurgeon writes, "Although this promise is applicable to the dying, it is also for the living. If you are depressed by any difficult trial, then you are walking through the valley of death-shade." Notice the words are not in future tense; they are present - for TODAY - this very moment.

In 'The Twenty-third Psalm, An Interpretation,' by Charles L. Allen, "The valley of the shadow of death" refers to more than the actual experience of physical death. It has been translated as "the glen of gloom." It may be applicable to every hard and terrifying experience in life."

Are you dreading a forbidding journey? Are you in a dark place in life that you must pass through? Are you anguished because sickness is undermining your health? Death is certainly one of those forbidding journeys, but what about disappointment, loneliness, depression, trauma and pain? There are several others.

Wherever our pathway leads, we need not fear. Why? "For He is close beside us." There is power in Christ's presence. Let's not reserve this verse for our last day, but use it to combat our present day fears. He IS with us through every valley in life as our protector and comforter.

Psalm 23:4 - "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect me and comfort me." (New Living Translation)

So...How's Terri Doin?

2010-09-25T09:46:00.001-05:00

My husband, Rob has grown to dislike the question, "So, how's Terri doin?" It's such a loaded question. You'd think it would be pretty easy to answer since it's been nearly 18 months since I finished my chemo therapy for breast cancer.

Well...part of my treatment plan includes a drug I take daily for five years. Because the breast cancer I had was estrogen fed, I have been prescribed an estrogen blocker called, tamoxifen.

Upon my return to Mayo Clinic in recent weeks, I shared with my oncologist the struggle I was having with fatigue and depression. Come to find out, some of the side effects from tamoxifen can be fatigue and depression. For a small percentage of women who have preexisting depression, it causes depression to worsen. I have discovered I am in that small percentage. This summer has been rough. The fatigue and depressive state I've been in has clouded my view of life.

Thankfully, my oncologist has allowed me to take a reprieve from this drug for a few weeks. In a matter of 10 days off tamoxifen my energy level has improved and my view of life is brighter. I am thankful to have an explanation for the way I was feeling. I was beginning to worry I had cancer lurking somewhere else in my body due to the fatigue & depression that was weighing me down.

Also, during my visit at Mayo Clinic on September 14th, I met with a surgeon about a second opinion for a hysterectomy. The surgeon put it this way, "You're a walking time bomb. Since you've had stage 1 breast cancer, you have family history of breast AND ovarian cancer, plus a BRAC gene mutation, you're at the highest risk factor for ovarian cancer. It's not a matter of IF you should have the surgery, but WHEN to have it done. The sooner the better." How's that for a clear direction?

My hysterectomy is scheduled for Tuesday, October 19th. It will be laproscopic surgery so my surgery recovery will be shorter, however it will throw me into menopause abruptly. My GYN warned my husband and I of the hormonal jolt that will occur. Please pray for my adjustment to this next phase of my treatment plan to reduce my risk factors for breast & ovarian cancer.

That's the long, honest answer to the question, "How's Terri doin?"

Breast cancer treatment doesn't end with chemo or radiation for many women. The road can be long. The road can be steep, but there is hope because of the progress that has been made in the treatment of this disease. Early detection, is a key. I'm a living example of that. October is breast cancer awareness month, it's around the corner. Schedule your annual mammogram, ladies. It could save your life, it did mine.

Rest

2010-09-09T09:09:00.000-05:00

This morning, I read this quote by Kay Arthur that I could identify with. It said, "Even when I've been weak, to the place of tears, I've found rest. Rest in the promises of our Father. Rest in the assurance that nothing depends on me. It all depends on Him. I'm simply to trust and obey, to be still and know He is God.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for you souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Pastor John Miller, once gave a sermon on this topic of rest, using the text above. He defined rest as a relationship with God, established by a lifting of a burden. He added, "Rest results in love for Christ which entices us to listen and respond to God's commands and faithfully live them out."

I take that to mean, resting is a releasing of my burdens to the One who is able to carry them all. Resting requires the desire to know God, to listen to His Word, then respond and live out His promises so that the world may know Him through us.

Psalm 46:10 - Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Waiting Time Is Not Wasted Time

2010-08-24T10:51:00.000-05:00

This morning, I read a poem titled, 'Waiting,' from the book, Satisfy My Thirsty Soul by Linda Dillow that reinforced a comment a friend of mine made to me in recent weeks, "Waiting time is not wasted time."

Waiting by Linda Dillow

Desparately, helplessly, longingly I cried
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate.
And the Master so gently said, "Child you must wait!"

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heart?
By faith I have asked, and am claiming your Word."

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a yes, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a no to which I can resign."

"And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry,
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting ....for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give and pleased you would be
You would have what you want,
but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair.
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove.
You'd know that I give and I save...(for a start).
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

The glow of my comfort late into the night
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But, oh the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So be silent, my child and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know me
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late.
My wisest of answers is still but to wait."

Micah 7:7 - But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

What's So Good About Suffering - Part 5

2010-08-20T18:55:00.000-05:00

This week I've had interactions with two young women (both in their 20's), one is battling hodgkins lymphoma, while the other is dealing with crohn's disease. They both are struggling with the limitations from their illnesses and the "new normal" of their lives. They are learning how to live life with the rude reality that comes from these diseases. I can empathize to a degree, given my recent battle with breast cancer, but not entirely. Each of our experiences with suffering is unique. Yet, we share one thing in common - our diagnosis, treatment, prognosis and future are in the hands of Someone greater than us. Our hope is in Jesus. We have a guaranteed promise that when we put our hope in Him, we will not be disappointed, as it is written in Isaiah 49:23 - Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

Suffering has a way of causing a person to look beyond the pain to a time and place where there is no more suffering. No matter the impact these dreadful diseases have on our mortal bodies, we can cast out fear of death because of our eternal hope through Christ. None of us may have yearned for heaven as readily or frequently if we had escaped the pain of these diseases. Yet, we can set our hearts, minds and souls on Heaven with this confident assurance:

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." - Revelation 12:4

Until that day comes, Lord Jesus, I pray each of us will grow in our yearning for You, the Creator of life, who has intimate knowledge of every cell in our bodies. May we trust You with our medical treatments. Guide us and help us to make wise choices that feed our bodies, minds and spirits for Your glory. Keep us from putting our trust and hope in anything but You, the Giver & Sustainer of our lives. May we yearn for You more and more, as we await the day when we join you in heaven. In Jesus Name I ask this. AMEN.

What's So Good About Suffering? - Part 4

2010-07-31T10:57:00.004-05:00

In recent weeks, I have struggled with accepting the physical limitations I am experiencing since receiving treatment for breast cancer, that included chemotherapy and multiple surgeries. I've been frustrated with the rate in which my energy and stamina is building. I didn't anticipate feeling fatigue, brain fog and depression, 18 months after my initial diagnosis.

I'm having to learn to say "no" to certain activities that I really don't want to, but my body is telling me otherwise. As I've wrestled with God about my discontentment, the phrase 'My grace is sufficient,' keeps coming to mind. This phrase is found in II Corinthians 12:7-10. As I read it from The Message version this week, I was comforted. It says:

"...I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down, what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first, I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, then he told me, 'My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size - abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks, I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get the stronger I become."

After reading this passage, I realized some of the benefits of my limitations. First of all, I have been brought to my knees. I may not be able to do as much physically, but I can always pray. I may pray to God in my need and for the needs of others.

These limitations I am experiencing are humbling me. They are causing me to constantly turn to God for strength vs. my own energy or effort.

In admitting my weakness and need for God's strength, it deepens my worship and affirms God's strength.

Please pray with me and for me that I will quit focusing on the limitations, and accept these changes as a gift. A gift that draws me closer to Christ so that His strength may shine through me, not my own energy or efforts.

Romans 12:12 - Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.

If I Hadn't

2010-07-31T10:54:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about the "story" of my life and how God has ordained each and every day of my life. I've been wrestling with the Lord about the numerous trials I've had in my life. I know they are part of the refining process that the Lord has and is using to shape me into the likeness of His Son, Jesus, but some days it is hard to accept them as a gift. Some days I wish my "story" was written differently than it is.

The phrase "If I hadn't" came to my mind this evening. If I hadn't experienced a certain trial then what? What would I have missed or not learned without that pain.

Below I've written a short phrase of some of the trials I've experienced and contrasted it with a benefit that came from it.

If I hadn't been abandoned
I may not have discovered One who will never leave me or forsake me

If I hadn't experienced shame
I may not have turned from my sin and received forgiveness

If I hadn't been spat on
I may not have learned to turn the other cheek

If I hadn't experienced unfaithfulness,
I may not have experienced His great faithfulness

If I hadn't experienced divorce
I may not have met the perfect Bridegroom

If I hadn't been a single mother
I may not have learned to depend on my Father in heaven

If I hadn't experienced bankruptcy
I may not have found my Greatest Treasure

If I hadn't been desperately alone
I may not have found my Sweetest Companion

If I hadn't experienced rejection
I may not have learned humility

If I hadn't experienced depression
I may not have turned to His marvelous Light

If I hadn't grieved the loss of a loved one
I may not have have experienced the fullness of joy,
knowing they are in heaven

If I hadn't experienced the rejection of man
I may not have admitted the idol of my heart, acceptance of man

If I hadn't grieved the loss of a dream
I may not have put my hope on eternity

If I hadn't had breast cancer
I may not have have shared in physical suffering
or discovered new mercies every day

If I hadn't experienced these trials
I may not have realized my deep need for Christ
nor experienced the most profound love of my life

The message behind 'Healing Begins'

2010-06-30T11:40:00.001-05:00

James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other SO THAT you may be healed.

Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North

2010-06-30T11:37:00.002-05:00

Someday by Michael W. Smith

2010-06-17T10:13:00.002-05:00

I KNOW
THERE'S A PRAYER FLOWING FROM
THE LONGING
FOR THE HEALING TO COME
SOMEDAY
NO MORE DARK, ACHING NIGHTS
SOMEDAY
I WILL OPEN MY EYES
THE LIGHT WILL COME
AND I WILL SET YOU FREE
SOMETIMES
THERE’S A JOY IN THE PAIN
SOMETIMES
PEACE THAT CAN’T BE EXPLAINED
SOME FIND
A LONGING THERE IN THEIR SOUL
SOMEDAY
I WILL MAKE ALL THINGS WHOLE
I PROMISE TO
SET THE CHILDREN FREE
SOMEDAY
YOU’LL FIND A PLACE IN THE SUN
SOMEDAY
WHEN ALL HEARTS BEAT AS ONE
YOU’LL SING
WITH THE HEART OF A CHILD
SOMEDAY
WHEN THE RIVER RUNS WILD
MY FATHER COMES
TO SET HIS CHILDREN FREE
SOME SAY IT’S A VISION
SOME SAY IT’S JUST A DREAM
I SAY IT’S A PROMISE
A COVENANT, A DESTINY
I WILL COME TO SET MY CHILDREN FREE
SOMEDAY
WHAT THE YOUNG ONES HAVE DREAMED
SOMEDAY
ALL YOU’VE HOPED AND BELIEVED
WILL BE
YOU WILL ALL UNDERSTAND
THE LONGING
PLACED INSIDE EVERY MAN
OVERCOMES THE WORLD
AND SETS THE CHILDREN FREE
AND I WILL COME
TO SET MY CHILDREN FREE
SOMEDAY
WE WILL SEE
WE WILL SEE YOU
SOMEDAY

In loving memory of my daddy, Allan Jorth.

Amazing Love - Newsboys

2010-06-03T08:26:00.001-05:00

Amazing Love by A.W. Tozer

2010-06-03T08:10:00.002-05:00

Jesus felt the Cross. He felt it long before he reached it. Its shadow stretched far ahead and wrapped Him in its black, clinging folds. He shrank from it, though He never flinched. The thorns tore, and the nails cut His heart, long before His body was touched by them. The shame of it stung to the quivering quick. But love held Him steady. If it only might grip us, how Jesus loved us! -S.D. Gordon

Titus quickly identifies Jesus Christ as the Savior "who gave himself for us," and we can quickly learn the value of any object by the price which people are willing to pay for it. Perhaps I should qualify that—you may not learn the true value, for it is my private opinion that a diamond or other jewelry has no intrinsic value at all.

You may remember the story about the rooster scratching around in the barnyard for kernels of corn. Suddenly he scratched up a beautiful pearl of fabulous price which had been lost years before, but he just pushed it aside and kept on looking for corn. The pearl had no value for the rooster, although it had a great value for those who had set a price upon it.

There are various kinds of markets in the world, and something which has no value for a disinterested person may be considered of great value by the person desiring it and purchasing it.

It is in this sense, then, that we learn how dear and precious we are to Christ by what He was willing to give for us

I believe many Christians are tempted to downgrade themselves too much. I am not arguing against true humility and my word to you is this: Think as little of yourself as you want to, but always remember that our Lord Jesus Christ thought very highly of you—enough to give Himself for you in death and sacrifice.

If the devil does come to you and whispers that you are no good, don't argue with him. In fact, you may as well admit it, but then remind the devil: "Regardless of what you say about me, I must tell you how the Lord feels about me. He tells me that I am so valuable to Him that He gave Himself for me on the cross!"

So, the value is set by the price paid—and, in our case, the price paid was our Lord Himself!

— A.W. Tozer

Think About the Greatest Affliction

2010-06-03T07:55:00.002-05:00

"In order to suffer without dwelling on our own affliction," Thomas Merton once contemplated, "we must think about a greater affliction, and turn to Christ on the cross. In order to suffer without hate, we must drive out bitterness from our heart by loving Jesus. In order to suffer without hope of compensation, we should find all our peace in the conviction of our union with Jesus. These things are no a matter of ascetic technique but of simple faith."

Excerpt from, 'When God Weeps,' by Joni Eareckson Tada

What's So Good About Suffering? - Part 3

2010-06-01T10:46:00.002-05:00

In recent weeks, I have wondered why God decided I should be healed of cancer while others I know and love were not. Some may define this as survivor's guilt.

For those of you who have been diagnosed with cancer or a life threatening situation, understand what it's like to have death stare you in the face. Your knees buckle and you're placed in a position of humility to feel the hand of God resting on your life.

When death glared at me, I wasn't frightened of death itself, but of the pain that may lead to it. I was sad, not because of what was to come, but what I'd leave behind and the joys I'd miss with my loved ones.

I certainly wouldn't have chosen cancer, but it has caused me to think about life and death. As a believer in Jesus, I have the hope of eternity. I didn't fear death, but discovered at a much deeper level that death will be the better thing. I'd be removed from the pain of this world and be face to face with Jesus forever.

I've come to a deeper understanding of Paul's statement in Philippians 1:21where he says, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." For those who do not believe in Jesus, life on this earth is all there is. It's natural to strive for the world's values - money, popularity, pleasure, status. I, too, have done that and found emptiness. For Paul, to live meant to develop eternal values and to tell others about Christ, who alone could help them see life from an eternal perspective.

Paul goes onto share the struggle of choosing life or death in verses 22-24 where it says, "If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body."

In verses 25-26, Paul continues, "Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

Paul's purpose for living went beyond providing for physical needs. His life was to be an example to others, for the benefit of other believers (the Body of Christ, the church).

In Colossians 1:24, Paul reiterates this concept. "Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church." Joni Eareckson Tada explains this passage, in her book, When God Weeps, ' Nothing is lacking when it comes to what Christ did on the cross. It is finished, just as he said, But something IS lacking when it comes to showcasing the salvation story to others. Jesus isn't around in the flesh, but you and I are. When we suffer and handle it with grace, we're like walking billboards advertising the positive way God works in the life of someone who suffers. It's for the benefit of believers. But it's more than a matter of example or even inspirations. It's you. Because we are one in the body of Christ, we are linked together. Your victories become mine.'

As believers, others learn something powerful about God from observing us in our suffering. Christ gave us this example, it's one we should mimic for the benefit of others. That's a purpose worth living for!

Blessed Be The Name

2010-05-28T17:15:00.001-05:00

Job 1:21 NIV: "...the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

"Love found. Love lost. A goal reached. A broken dream. Both good and bad are in our lives. Each thing we experience helps to shape who we become. Each thing that happens to us should be looked upon as purposeful; allowed by the Sovereign Hand of God. Our circumstances are not always pleasing; yet, we can always take pleasure within them in knowing that God´s perfect will is being accomplished. It´s not easy; yet, the benefits are tremendous. With each and everything we face, God has a perfect purpose. To say otherwise would be to say that some of what shapes us is beyond His control. He sees in us the potential of who we can be. His will is to see that we meet that potential, and He will only allow us to experience those things that can be used in doing so.

by Faithwriters, May 28th, 2010

What's So Good About Suffering - Part 2

2010-05-25T11:08:00.011-05:00

In the past few days, I have been deeply touched by the testimony of a family in Cedar Falls, Iowa who have glorified God through an incredibly tragic accident that affected their 22 month old son. Thousands of people have banded together along side them to pray for their son & this family. They have sung praises to God, not knowing whether or not their son would live or die. The message of God's only Son, Jesus, who came to die for all mankind so that people may have eternal life, has spread because of this terrible accident. Some have accepted Christ as their Lord & Savior through the sharing of this suffering.

During tragedy and suffering, people are brought together who may have never known one another before. Suffering has a way of leveling the ground before the Cross. Suffering doesn't discriminate. Every race and social economic status, every person will experience some type of suffering, some how, some way, some day. It is inevitable. it just looks different for each one of us. Jesus promises it in John 16:33 when He says, "In this world you WILL have trouble."

Since we know suffering will happen, what will we do when it does?

In Philippians 1:12-14, Paul wrote of his imprisonment, 'Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the world palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.'

Randy Alcorn writes in 'If God is Good,' Paul clearly saw God at work through his suffering. Just as boldness in imprisonment advances the gospel, so does boldness in disability, disease or disaster.

In our suffering, the door is opened for the gospel to be shared, when it may not have been otherwise.

In Galatians 4:13-14, Paul also wrote about his experience when he visited the Galatian churches, 'As you know, it was because of an illness that I first preached the gospel to you. Even though my illness was a trial to you, you did not treat me with contempt or scorn. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel (messenger) of God, as if I were Christ Jesus himself.'

Even while Paul was imprisoned and seriously ill, he shared the message of hope in Christ. Suffering changes and expands our sphere of influence for Christ. Whatever our trial or suffering may be, lets turn it into a testimony for His name sake, just like this faithful couple from Cedar Falls, Iowa has done in recent days.

Ephesians 6:19-20 - Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

What's So Good About Suffering - Part I

2010-05-18T20:16:00.008-05:00

I've come to realize with increasing age and life experiences that God's definition of "good" and mine are drastically different. My "good" would never include adultery, abuse, divorce, sudden loss of a loved one or cancer, to name a few. Instead, my definition of "good" would include health, wealth and comfort.

Yet, Christ warned us in Mark 4:19,"but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the Word, making it unfruitful." The things we believe may be "good" for us, may actually make us ineffective for His Kingdom.

When we are uncomfortable, unhealthy and lack wealth we become less self-reliant. It teaches us to trust God. He loves dependent people. In hardship, we are more inclined to press up against Him. More likely to lean upon Him. It's a truth we learned in Sunday school, when we sang the song, 'Jesus Loves Me.' Remember the lyric, 'I am weak, but He is strong?'

In II Corinthians 1:8-9, Paul doesn't go into detail about their hardships in Asia, he does say that he felt they were going to die and realized they could do nothing to help themselves - they simply had to rely on God. Paul writes,'We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, who raises the dead.'

In our suffering, we are placed in a position of weakness, dependence, surrender. In II Corinthians 12:9-10, Paul pleads to God, begging him to remove his 'thorn in the flesh,' three times. We don't know exactly what it was, but it was a chronic, debilitating problem that hindered him from working at times.

Jesus' response to Paul's pleading was this, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Then Paul responded, 'Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.'

Even though God did not remove Paul's physical affliction, he promised to demonstrate his power in Paul. He placed him in a position of reliance on God for his effectiveness rather than his own energy, effort or talent. This thorn kept Paul humble, reminding him of his constant need for Christ. This benefited others who knew Paul because they saw Christ's work in his life.

Joni Eareckson Tada wrote in her book, 'When God Weeps,' God always seems bigger to those who need Him the most. And suffering is the tool He uses to help us need Him more.

Admitting our weakness and dependence upon God, affirms God's strength and deepens our worship of Him. When we are weak, allowing God to fill us with his power, then we are stronger than we could ever be on our own.

What's So Good About Suffering?

2010-05-17T18:07:00.024-05:00

I crossed the final hurdle in my race against breast cancer on May 3rd, 2010, fifteen months after my diagnosis. Since that time, I've pondered these questions, "What are the long-term 'side effects' or benefits of suffering? AND What's so good about suffering?" As a follower of Christ, I'm asking these questions. I'm seeking a Biblical perspective on this subject. In the next several weeks, months, maybe years I will share insights gleaned on this topic and post them here.

Does this question interest you? If so, join me in this journey of discovery. As I seek answers to these questions, I confidently, anticipate a fresh encounter with Jesus.

I pray this journey will expand my faith in God and His purposes, while encouraging others in their walk with Christ as they face trials and suffering on this earth.

Trusting Him on the journey.

Romans 8:28 - "And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purposes."

Finding Faith to Carry You Through Disaster

2010-03-04T12:05:00.001-06:00

The Survivors Club: Finding Faith to Carry You Through Disaster
by: Sarah Jennings, Crosswalk.com Family Editor

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

In the past month, we've watched the international community endure one calamity after another. First, a devastating earthquake in Haiti. Now earthquakes in Japan and Chile. We've seen images of great suffering and heard stories of great faith and triumph. With each heart wrenching update, we wonder how we would cope if the places were switched. Could we endure the shock of having everything - and everyone - we loved gone in a matter of moments? Would we maintain hope and faith? Would we be generous to others?

Award-winning journalist Ben Sherwood, author of The Survivors Club, began asking these questions long before recent quakes crumbled the infrastructure of countries across the globe. After years of interviewing people who survived incredible catastrophes for human interest stories, he began to wonder: What enables these ordinary people to endure what most could not? Are there certain characteristics that set survivors apart from victims? And if so, can we learn how to become survivors?

Sherwood set out on a quest to find answers. He interviewed countless members of "the survivors club." He met with Brian Udell, the only pilot to live through an emergency ejection from a jet going faster than the speed of sound (Mach 1) at sea level. He interviewed Stan Praimnath, the only survivor from the 81st floor of the World Trade Center's South Tower. He spoke with petite Anne Hjelle, a mountain biker who survived a vicious mountain lion attack on the trail. He interviewed survivors of shipwrecks, plane crashes, the Holocaust, and those who beat difficult medical diagnoses.

Sherwood didn't just interview these remarkable men and women. He put himself through the wringer. He visited the Aviation Survival Training Center at the U.S. Marine Corp air station where he allowed trainers to subject him to military survival tests, including a frightening simulation of a helicopter crashing underwater (to his teachers' surprise, he passed all the tests). He also underwent emergency FAA training with airline professionals. Along the way, he spoke with the experts. Experts in medicine, military training, aviation, and psychology.

His findings? There's actually quite a bit you and I can do to join the survivors club when life gets rough.

So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled (1 Thess 5: 6). The first factor in becoming a survivor is acknowledging a very biblical truth: At some point life's going to go wrong. As much as we don't want to admit it, the brokenness of this world will seep into our tranquil lives. In his introduction, Sherwood writes, "Almost everyone I know has faced - or is coping with - some kind of serious challenge or adversity." Part of what differentiates the victims from the survivors is a person's willingness to accept adversity and prepare before it ever becomes a reality.

Did you know that 96% of passengers in airplane accidents survive? Sherwood shares that the survivors who might otherwise have perished in plane crashes were passengers who kept their shoes on during flight, made note of the exits before take-off, and abstained from the alcoholic beverages on the food cart. In other words - these passengers were prepared.

Other survival factors read like a litany of statistics (including the reality that young, thin, strong men tend to have the best survival rates). But amid all the scientific insights and eye-opening stats, Sherwood identifies one profound characteristic of those who belong to "the survivors club." When he asked survival guru Ray Smith at the Naval Survival Training Institute for the secret of survival, Smith gave a startlingly simple answer: "Faith in God… it's a major factor in all survival scenarios."

Brian Udell couldn't agree more. He believes it was divine intervention that pushed him up onto the life-saving raft after he miraculously survived his high-speed ejection. Stan Praimnath never misses his morning prayers after September 11, 2001. And Anne Hjelle feels like a walking example of 2 Tim 4: 17 ("I was delivered from the lion's mouth").

Sherwood was skeptical of the "divine factor" at first, but expert after expert confirmed the powerful role faith plays in those who beat all odds. In fact, not only does faith carry survivors through extraordinary crises but studies reveal it helps with ordinary crises too. Those who attend church at least once a week live an average of 7 years longer than those who don't.

But what kind of faith is this? Is this a naive, blind optimism that carries survivors through unbelievable circumstances?

No, quite the opposite. Famously dubbed "The Stockdale Paradox," Sherwood explains that Admiral James Stockdale, the highest ranking POW in Vietnam, responded to the question, "Which American prisoners perished?" with this surprising declaration: "Oh that's easy. The optimists."

Why? Hope is vital, but optimism often drains emotional resources by fueling unrealistic expectations. "We'll be out by Christmas!" a cheery POW might exclaim. When Christmas comes and goes, depression ensues. In fact, naïve believers who erroneously think God will shield them from all adversity tend to lose their vital faith when crisis hits. It's the mature, hopeful realist who believes God uses his adversity for a greater good that comes out the other side of a crisis thriving. Furthermore, studies show the more integrated a person's faith is in his day-to-day life, the more likely he is to weather life's most violent storms.

Where does this leave us? I definitely recommend The Survivors Club. You'll learn some potentially life-saving information and read some fascinating stories. But for me, this information does more than impress the importance of hitting the gym and booking airplane seats within five rows of an exit. It leaves me in awe.

Awe that a journalist's quest for scientific answers to survival led him and his readers straight to God and the power of prayer. Awe that even in the worst of catastrophes, faith is sustained. Awe that God not only answers prayers (how many times have I questioned his silence?) -- but we depend on it.

It also leaves me with a dose of reality: earth isn't heaven. While we can't expect to dodge the bad stuff in life, we can have faith that God never leaves us. He walks with us through the valleys, using every experience for the good of those who love him. Just ask Brian Udell, Stan Praimnath, and Anne Hjelle.

How would you describe your faith? Is it more immature or mature? Do you pray daily and lean into God's grace or rely on your own strengths? Do you think God will shield you from adversity or guide you through it? Take inventory and make the necessary changes.

Original Crosswalk publication date: March 1, 2010

The Spiritual Discipline of Perservance - Oswald Chambers

2010-02-22T07:51:00.001-06:00

Be still, and know that I am God . . . — Psalm 46:10

Perseverance is more than endurance. It is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen. Perseverance means more than just hanging on, which may be only exposing our fear of letting go and falling. Perseverance is our supreme effort of refusing to believe that our hero is going to be conquered. Our greatest fear is not that we will be damned, but that somehow Jesus Christ will be defeated. Also, our fear is that the very things our Lord stood for— love, justice, forgiveness, and kindness among men— will not win out in the end and will represent an unattainable goal for us. Then there is the call to spiritual perseverance. A call not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately, knowing with certainty that God will never be defeated.

If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God. But one of the greatest stresses in life is the stress of waiting for God. He brings fulfillment, "because you have kept My command to persevere . . ." ( Revelation 3:10 ).

Continue to persevere spiritually.

Get Back Up

2010-02-20T09:16:00.002-06:00

I love the lyric in this song where it says, "May be knocked down, but not out forever!" It encourages me to persevere in Christ because of His love calling out to me to "get back up again."

The Hand of God by Randy Alcorn

2010-02-17T11:06:00.001-06:00

When we lock our eyes on our cancer, arthritis, fibromyalgia, diabetes, or disability, self-pity and bitterness can creep in. When we spend our days rehearsing the tragic death of a loved one, we will interpret all life through the darkness of our suffering. How much better when we focus upon Jesus!

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus... who for the joy set before him endured the cross.” The following verse commands us, “Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Hebrews 12:2–3).

However great our suffering, his was far greater. If you feel angry at God, what price would you have him pay for his failure to do more for people facing suffering and evil? Would you inflict capital punishment on him? You’re too late. No matter how bitter we feel toward God, could any of us come up with a punishment worse than what God chose to inflict upon himself?

Tim Keller writes,

If we again ask the question: “Why does God allow evil and suffering to continue?” and we look at the cross of Jesus, we still do not know what the answer is. However, we know what the answer isn’t. It can’t be that he doesn’t love us. It can’t be that he is indifferent or detached from our condition. God takes our misery and suffering so seriously that he was willing to take it on himself.... So, if we embrace the Christian teaching that Jesus is God and that he went to the Cross, then we have deep consolation and strength to face the brutal realities of life on earth.

If you know Jesus, then the hand holding yours bears the calluses of a carpenter who worked with wood and carried a cross for you. When he opens his hand, you see the gnarled flesh of the nail scars on his wrists. And when you think he doesn’t understand your pain, realize that you don’t understand the extent of his pain. Love him or not, he has proven he loves you.

If you hate suffering, does it make sense to choose eternal suffering when God has already suffered so much to deliver you from it?

In your most troubled moments, when you cry out to God, “Why have you let this happen?” picture the outstretched hands of Christ, forever scarred... for you.

Do those look like the hands of a God who does not care?

(Excerpted from Randy Alcorn's book, 'If God Is Good.')

Less Like Scars

2010-02-05T10:01:00.005-06:00

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel You here
And You're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But You are able
And in Your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need You
And I want You here
And I feel You

And I know You're here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But You are able

And in Your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars (x3)

And more like
Character

Song by Sara Groves

To Know Him More

2010-01-31T19:20:00.029-06:00

As a member of Trinity Bible Church in Cedar Falls, Iowa, I've had the privilege of learning from Pastor, John Miller for several weeks as he's preached a sermon series titled 'Finding Joy in the Journey,' using the Book of Philippians as his text.

This Sunday, he focused on Chapter 3 of Philippians, verses 1-11. The subtitle of his sermon was 'Pattern Your Life after People Who Set Their Sights on Knowing Christ.'

He said, "Gospel living is not just what we "do," but what we "prize" or value."

Pastor John, challenged the congregation with these introductory questions:

What is it you think you must have for satisfaction?

What do you cherish the most? Is it pride, family, health, a secure retirement, respect, friendship...?

What is it you're clinging to that may be hindering you from advancing the Gospel or knowing Christ more deeply?

Is that one thing really necessary for the task of knowing Christ or advancing the Gospel?

In the context of Philippians 3:8 - where Paul talks about knowing Christ, it means a vibrant, personal, passionate relationship. It's not knowing about Him (head knowledge/factual information) - it's knowing Him intimately as you would your closest friend. A person you can bear all things without fear of rejection.

Paul gave up everything - family, friendship, comfort and freedom in order to know Christ and his resurrection power. We, too have access to this power, but we may have to make sacrifices to enjoy it fully.

As I sat there listening to this message, emotions were welling up in me and I was about to "break" - weep uncontrollably. I nudged my husband and said, "I need to leave soon because I'm going to "crack." In other words, I was going to start crying, not the quiet, silent type - but the wailing type.

I began to bawl the minute I stepped out of the church, with sounds of agony. I wailed the entire drive home, and continued to as I walked into our home. My husband asked me if I could verbalize what I was feeling. I flopped myself down on the couch and said, "I'm not sure I can yet."

Then slowly, through the sobbing, I was able to gain enough composure to put some thoughts together. I replied, "It was as though the Lord was saying to me - "Terri, I needed you to surrender your work, your health, your financial security and even a loved one - all in one year SO THAT you'd KNOW ME more intimately. Terri, you don't need to "do" anything special to serve me, I want you to KNOW me." It's enough. I just want you to know Me."

A year ago, just days before the first surgery related to my cancer diagnosis, I prayed with two women. I remember praying, "Lord, You've drawn me closer to Yourself in the past through some very deep valleys. I pray with expectation that You will draw me closer to Yourself through this trial as well." I can answer that with a resounding, "Yes!" I do know Him much more intimately from these compounded trials in 2009, but it's been painful. It still is painful. There is much grieving that goes along with each of these losses.

What are you willing to give up in order to know Christ? A crowded schedule in order to set aside a few minutes each day to read the Bible and pray - to know Him? Your friend's approval - to know Him? Some of your plans or pleasures - to know Him? Whatever it is, knowing Christ, is more than worth the sacrifice. Seek no greater honor than just to know Him more.

Philippians 3:8 - What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I might gain Christ.

If you're interested in listening to Pastor John Miller's sermon it can be found at http://www.cedarfallstrinity.org/ Click on sermons - select the one given on Sunday, January 31st.

I've also attached one of my favorite songs titled, 'In Christ Alone,' by Brian Littrell that relates to this subject.

Holding On To What's Being Held Out

2010-01-29T13:14:00.003-06:00

I heard this song, 'Healing Hand of God,' by Jeremy Camp today for the first time. It's just what I needed to hear. I have experienced the healing hand of God this past year at multiple levels. Walking forward, I must choose to continue to hold onto His healing hand, that's always held out.

I've attached Jeremy Camp's story behind this song, for those who don't know it. In 2004, just two months after he was married, his wife died of cancer. That tragedy pierced his life and heart, yet he cried out for God's grace to bear the pain of that soul-wrenching loss. God has faithfully turned his pain into spiritual might that he shares with others through his music.

Aftershock

2010-01-27T17:40:00.020-06:00

Recently we have been inundated with news about the earthquake in Haiti. The devastation to this land and the people who live there is heart wrenching. Having lived in Iowa all my life I have never experienced an earthquake, however I have experienced aftershock.

Webster's dictionary defines aftershock as an aftereffect of a distressing or traumatic event(s).

A year ago (this week), after my annual physical, I was asked to return for an ultra sound due to an abnormal mammogram. I knew in my gut after the ultra sound that I had breast cancer. Within hours after the visit, I received a call from my OB/GYN who referred me to a surgeon. A week later, I had a biopsy and the results were positive.

2009 began with numerous medical procedures that led to several surgeries and months of chemotherapy related to my cancer diagnosis. In May, came the loss of employment, followed by financial stress due to loss of my income, then in August, my father-in-law passed away suddenly. (His 77th birthday would have been this week.) Multiple unexpected, traumatic "events" compounded one after the other.

I thought after one year, I'd feel differently than I do. The worst is behind us. I didn't expect to feel angry, irritable, fatigued, lacking energy. I thought I'd feel more "normal," by now, as some would say. Instead, today, I wept uncontrollably, unexpectedly. A surprising response? No, an aftershock, an aftereffect from the distressing year of 2009.

So why am I sharing this? It's not for pity. I know many others who have suffered in much greater ways than I have. I share this as a reminder to those of you who are enduring a difficult time - whether that be health issues, loss of employment, financial hardship or grieving the loss of a loved one. Give yourself time to heal and to mourn the loss. Don't try to force the healing process. Be patient with the pace of your recovery. It's your own personal journey - it'll be different for everyone. Give yourself permission to feel without judgment or guilt. Speaking from a "queen of suppression," that's a hard one for me.

I'm certain there will be more unexpected aftershocks down the road, similar to what I experienced today. In preparation, I turn to the restoration promise from Jeremiah 30:17 that I wrote on an index card a year ago. It's posted near my kitchen window, as a physical reminder of His promise to restore and heal me - even the wounds the surgeons didn't make, hidden deep inside of me.

Jeremiah 30:17 - "I WILL restore you to health and heal your wounds."

Although the earth quakes, God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. (Psalm 46:1-2) God is our refuge in the face of total destruction like we've seen in Haiti and during personal aftershocks like I experienced first hand today. Cry out to Him. He is the ever-present help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

A Resolution Worth Keeping

2010-01-06T07:53:00.006-06:00

Paraphrased from 'Pearls of Great Price,' by Joni Eareckson Tada

The first week of the New Year is nearly behind us. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of New Year's resolutions, probably because in my experience they are short lived. I blow it before I know it. However, there is one resolution worth considering for Twenty-Ten.

II Corinthians 4:16 says, Therefore, do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Our inner man/inner being/new creation in Christ, must be renewed daily. It must be nourished daily - every day, month & season of the year. Our fellowship with God must be renewed day to day, not just on Sunday mornings when we listen to a good sermon. Our fellowship with Jesus must be renewed on a daily basis, nourishing our souls through the Word of God. It's necessary. Quickly, we can become spiritually malnourished. It's one resolution we can't afford not to keep.

I pray "that He would grant you & I, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man." (Ephesians 3:16) May we invite His Spirit to replenish us as we spend time in His Word and in prayer. Lord Jesus, show us fresh insights every day in Your Word. Reveal Your heart to us in prayer and in so doing, renew our inner being day by day. In Jesus Name I pray. AMEN.

A quote on this theme by Elyse Fitzpatrick, author of 'Idols of the Heart' - "Pursue the happiness of knowing and loving Christ, and you will find your holiness and worship will grow."

Closing Prayer for 2009

2009-12-27T21:22:00.012-06:00

During the church service we attended this morning at Trinity Bible in Cedar Falls, Iowa, our Pastor, John Miller prayed this prayer from 'The Book of Uncommon Prayer' by Joseph Parker. As my husband & I held hands with heads bowed listening to the words in reverence, we cried together. After the service, Rob approached Pastor John for a copy of the prayer because it summed up so perfectly how the Lord has led us through this difficult year by His infinite grace and mercy.

Almighty God, just as we began the year in your name and in your strength, so we close it to your praise. You’ve done great things for us, and because of that, we’re glad. You’ve led us by a way that we knew not and by paths we had not known.

You’ve been eyes to the blind, and feet to the lame. You’ve cared for us with all the tender care of love. You have not forsaken us even for a moment. With everlasting mercies you’ve surrounded us and made us strong. When we feared, we heard the voice of Christ. When we wondered what would happen, you sent strength and peace.

Because of You, we can trust the Lord with our whole heart, and we need take no more care of our own life that we may save it. He that saves his life shall lose it, and he that loses his life in the love of Christ shall find it.

God, give us the gift of faith, so that we may believe all of this holy testimony, and so that we might conduct our life along these sacred lines.

We want to be quiet, resigned, perfectly tranquil. We want to rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him, and as for our heart’s desire we know that You will grant it to us.

You’ve led us by ways that startled us, and you’ve brought us right up to cliffs that have terrified us, yet by your good hand you’ve set us in Your house, given us a new song, and caused our face to be turned towards heaven.

In our houses we’ve seen You. You’ve laid bread on our table, common when we touch it, but sacramental when you break it and give it to us. By Your grace, we have not eaten it carelessly, neither for physical sustenance nor for spiritual.

God, this year is nearly over and it will soon vanish. God be merciful to us sinners. Where we’ve done wrong, let the time past be enough to bring it to an end.

Give us consciousness of your love—not so much to throw us into despair, but enough to lead to the cross where all sin may be forgiven. If we’ve done anything in your strength and in the interest of your kingdom, may You be praised for the opportunity and for the power.

If we’ve been unkind to one another let all bitterness and wrath, and anger and clamor cease now. Help us to love our enemies that we may forgive them. Give us confidence in You, increase our love toward the cross, and rule us more completely by the ministry of your Holy Spirit.

Grant all men wisdom, direction, comfort in sorrow; and show them where the fountain of life is. Help your followers to withdraw often to be refreshed by the rest and the communion that are found in Christ. Be in our lives—each one of us.

Our time on earth is a dwindling quantity, and yet our eternity in heaven is still endless because of Christ. Help us to live the rest of our time here in pureness and gentleness and usefulness, and may men take knowledge of us that we have been with Jesus and learned of Him.

Be in our homes and make them habitations of the just; go with us into our workplaces and into our cities and into our culture that we may keep a wise and understanding heart amid all the temptation and distraction of this world.

In the time of sorrow may we show Christian confidence, and in the hour of loss may we be enabled to fall back upon the riches that we treasure in Christ Jesus.

Hear your servants in these things. These supplications and praises are poured out at the foot the cross. Send us answers of peace. In Christ’s name I pray.

Adapted from: 'The Book of Uncommon Prayer: Joseph Parker’s Pulpit Pleadings.'

What Faith Can Do

2009-12-26T00:32:00.005-06:00

My theme song for 2009. Thanks to all who responded to my request in January to join my "mustard seed" faith group who would pray for me & my family's behalf as I faced cancer.

Matthew 17:20 - He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Philippians 1:19-20 - for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.

What Faith Can Do Lyrics

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

2009 Christmas Greeting

2009-12-25T20:38:00.005-06:00

I decided to post our Christmas greeting on the blog because it's impossible to thank all of the people who have carried us through this difficult year.

Cancer touched our family personally and has made for a long year. First, my diagnosis of breast cancer in February, then Rob's Dad passed away just days after learning he had cancer in August. We grieve Bob's absence in our lives, but we are thankful he is in heaven where there is no more suffering.

We have learned to treasure each day as a gift. Birthdays and anniversaries had deeper meaning to us this year.

In June, we celebrated our granddaughter's first birthday with lots of laughter watching her eat her birthday cake by the handfuls.

Rob & I celebrated 18 years of marriage in July. We learned it's true about looking more like your spouse the longer you're together. Rob reminded me on my birthday that "bald was the new blond."

We had the privilege of caring for our granddaughter, Sydney the weekend of Derek & Ali's 2nd wedding anniversary. We understand the meaning of grandchildren; our moments with Sydney are definitely GRAND.

I managed to pull one over on Rob with a surprise party for his BIG 4-0!!! He wore my blonde wig at the party and found out that blondes really do have more fun.

November, Derek's birthday wish came true, the Yankees won the World Series. Erin turned 14 the day before Thanksgiving and is anxious to put her driver's permit to use.

My motto this year has been, "Life is hard, but God is good." Yes, it's been difficult, but God has given us SO MUCH to celebrate and be thankful for. Your love, encouragement and prayers have carried us through. Our hearts are overwhelmed with gratitude. THANK YOU!

We pray you will experience PEACE not as the world gives. (John 14:27)Your HEALTH will be restored and your wounds healed. (Jeremiah 30:17) You will have HOPE because the Lord's compassions are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:21-23)You will have FAITH as small as a mustard seed that can move mountains. (Matthew 17:20) You will have COURAGE because the Lord is with you. (Deuteronomy 31:8)You will grasp how wide, how long, how deep the LOVE of Jesus is for you. (Ephesians 3:18-19)

Merry Christmas!

Emmanuel by Laura Story, C.F. Alexander. A new, favorite Christmas song for me this year. Lyrics below:

Once in royal David's city
stood a lowly cattle shed,
where a mother laid her baby
in a manger bed:

Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ her little child.

Chorus:
Emmanuel
The promise kept
Its longing of my heart for God in flesh
Through this child, all earth is blessed
Emmanuel

He came down to earth from heaven,
who is God and Lord of all,
and his shelter was a stable,
and his cradle was a stall;
with the poor, the scorned, the lowly,
lived on earth our Savior holy.

Bridge:
Our answered prayer
Our faith’s reward
Redemption’s near
Redemption’s here

Alt Chorus:
Emmanuel
We will rejoice
We will worship you, our Savior and our Lord
We will join creation’s voice
Emmanuel

The Fight for Hope Over Despair

2009-12-03T00:04:00.003-06:00

This is a powerful picture and message of the fight for hope over despair in the battle against cancer. I could completely identify with it. Have your kleenex handy.

Permission to Weep

2009-12-01T19:24:00.001-06:00

In recent days it's been difficult for me to keep on, keeping on. I've been very "weepy." I've cried tears of grief, tears of joy, tears of weariness and tears of gratitude - all wrapped up in one peculiar package.

I find comfort from God's Word about weeping from an excerpt I read recently from 'Beside Still Waters,' written by C.H. Spurgeon. In John 11, it speaks of Lazarus' death, but Jesus was going to raise him. (John 11:11) Lazarus' resurrection was at hand, yet Jesus wept. (John 11:35) Jesus knew that Lazarus' death was for God's glory. He said, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it." (John 11:4) Still, He wept.

Have you ever thought it wrong to weep at a loss. I have. It is not wrong. It if were, Jesus would not have wept under similar circumstances. Tears, have free admission into the realm of holiness because "Jesus wept."

Friends, we may weep because "Jesus wept." He wept with the full knowledge of Lazarus' happiness, with full knowledge of his resurrection, with firm assurance that God was glorified through this death. We may not condemn what Christ allows. If we can weep, thank God. If we can weep and know that we are in His presence, then our weeping is not sinful. Let tears roll in floods. This is good instruction.

May the Holy Spirit teach us. May the Lord write it on every weeper's heart. We may weep because "Jesus wept." (John 11:35)

Even though today, I weep because this "sickness" called breast cancer is taking it's toll on me. Yet I also weep tears of joy because He's healing me and carrying me every step of the way. I weep with weariness and gratitude tied together with awe of the immense love, care and encouragement He continues to pour out upon me through so many people. I may weep, because "Jesus wept." (John 11:35)

The More I Seek

2009-11-20T11:37:00.010-06:00

Over the course of this year, in my distress, I have turned to the the Lord. He has been so incredibly near to me. The more I seek Him, the more I find Him, the more I find Him, the more I love Him.

This year I've been set aside to focus on my health and many days have felt useless. Yet, I've discovered the richness of my salvation in Jesus, the joy of His constant, unconditional love in a deeper more profound way than ever before.

Too often I have judged myself based on how I look, behave and feel. I've felt unworthy of love much of my life. If I liked what I saw in the mirror or if things in my life were going smoothly or my "performance" seemed "adequate" I found it easier to believe I was loved and accepted.

As I've rested in the presence of the Lord for several months, I've come to realize that He loves me as I am, not for what I "do" or look like. He desires me to stop judging myself and "fixing" myself, so that I will be accepted or loved by people. He wants me to redirect my thoughts to see myself clothed in His righteousness, radiant in His perfect love. Not by ANYTHING I can do, but by His incomparable richness of grace, love and mercy - all free gifts from Him.

He is teaching me to release my idol of approval of man for the Lord's affirmation that is not dependent upon achievement or outward appearance. He is reminding me to be at peace with the way He has created me. My ultimate purpose on this earth is to love and worship Him. It seems too simple, yet so complex. From the overflow of my love and devotion to Him I can love others more freely without fear of rejection.

While my body continues to heal from the scars of cancer and emotional wounds, I am to be still, rest in His presence, cease striving, relax. That is so counter cultural, our society defines our "value" if we're busy, striving, doing more to prove our worth.

Lord, thank you for drawing near to me as I've drawn nearer to You. Your love is so deep, it's more that I can understand. I melt in your peace. It's overwhelming.

Deuteronomy 4:29-31 But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon you...

Grieved

2009-11-19T11:53:00.004-06:00

The apostle Paul wrote, "Though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials" (I Peter 1:6). Not only do we have various trials, they also grieve and depress us. It happens to the best of God's servants. I know several people who love the Lord, and the Lord loves them. They are precious to Him. They are humble, gentle, and gracious people, but they have come into deep trouble or some heavy cloud rests upon them. It is especially to these individuals that I write.

Dear troubled friends, you may have grief or sorrow that is not known to anybody. You od not want to reveal it. You would not whisper it to the dearest confidant that you have on earth. You keep it to yourself. Perhaps this is the reason that it becomes so bitter. Communicating to some Christian friend might be a real help. There is relief in shedding tears when you are in great anguish. If you can have a good cry, you can get over the trouble more readily.

Yet sometimes you cannot find expression for grief and the pent-up flame becomes more fierce. If you have a grief that you cannot tell to any human being, let me affectionately invite you to look to Jesus. Tell the Lord all about your sorrow, and ask Him to give you help in your time of need. Whatever it is, tell it to Him. As surely as Jesus lives, He will hear and answer, and you will go your way in peace.

I do not know the details of your situation. "The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy" (Proverbs 14:10. There are depths and there are heights where we must be by ourselves. Do not be surprised if, as far as human beings are concerned, you sometimes have to sail alone. BUT if Christ is in the vessel, you cannot be in better company. You're NOT ALONE.

Excerpt from 'Beside Still Waters' by C.H. Spurgeon, Edited by Roy H. Clark

I Peter 1:6-7 - In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

My Father

2009-11-18T19:35:00.003-06:00

My dear friends, remember that you have a Father in heaven. When all is gone and spent, you can still say, "My Father." Your relatives may be gone, but your Father lives. Friends may leave, just as the birds fly south for the winter, but you are not alone because the Father is with you. Cling to this blessed promise, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) In every moment of distress, anxiety and perplexity, you have a Father on whose wisdom, truth, and power you can rely.

If your children have needs, they go to you. If they have questions, they ask you. If they are ill-treated, they appeal to you. If a thorn is in their finger, they run to you for relief. Little or great, your children's sorrows are your concern. This makes their life easier, and it should make our lives easier if we acted as God's children. Imitate Jesus. In your Gethsemane, pray as He did, "O My Father" (Matthew 26:42). This is a better defense than shield or sword. Jesus' resource was to approach the Father with prevailing prayer.

There are times when, moved by the Holy Spirit, we pray with a power of faith that can never fail at the mercy seat. Without this impulse, we must not push our will. There are many occasions when, if we had all the faith to move mountains, we would choose wisely if only by saying, "Your will be done." (Matthew 26:42)

Prayer is always an open door. There is no predicament in which you cannot pray. If, like Jonah, you are at the bottom of the ocean and the weeds are wrapped around your head, you may still pray. If you are between the jaws of the lion, you may still pray. Prayer is a weapon that can be used in every position and every conflict. Do not look to the arm of flesh (II Chronicles 32:8), but look to the Lord your God.

Excerpt from 'Beside Still Waters' C.H. Spurgeon, Edited by Roy H. Clarke.

Lord, Have Mercy

2009-11-16T10:53:00.003-06:00

When pain goes through you again until the tears unwillingly fall from your eyes, pray this prayer, "Lord, have mercy on me."

Psalm 41:3-4 says, The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness. I said, "O Lord, have mercy on me; heal me..."

I have found when medicine fails, or when sleep is chased away, or when pain becomes unbearable, it is good to appeal directly to God. Say, "Lord, I am Your child. Did You not say, 'As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him?" (Psalm 103:13) Therefore, "Lord, have mercy on me."

When hurting with pain of any sort, you may find quiet resignation, holy patience and childlike submission will enable you to pray this simple prayer, "Lord, have mercy on me." This often brings better relief than anything that the most skilled physician can prescribe. You are permitted and encouraged to look up into Your Heavenly Father's face and say, "Lord, have mercy on me."

Paraphrased from an excerpt titled, 'Be Merciful' from the book titled, 'Beside Still Waters' by C.H. Spurgeon, Edited by Roy H. Clarke.

Nothing but the Blood

2009-11-08T09:15:00.002-06:00

I love the rendition of this old hymn, "Nothing but the Blood, by Jadon Lavik. Listen to the profound truth in these lyrics.

Identified with Christ

2009-11-08T07:46:00.009-06:00

This week I had a "risk reduction" surgery on November 5th at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. It included a left mastectomy and a right mastectomy revision. It was recommended that I have more margin removed around my former tumor to reduce the risks of recurrence and my left breast removed to reduce the risk of cancer in that breast. Given my various stats, I am high risk for recurrence. It was highly recommended that I take this next course of action.

Yesterday morning, while I was waiting for doctors to come into evaluate me and determine if I could be released from the hospital a scripture reference came to my mind. I asked Rob, what scripture reference is this?

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me."

Rob said, "I believe it's Galatians 2:20 or II Corinthians 5:17."

My next thought was the position I laid during surgery. During a mastectomy surgery your arms are spread horizontally on the operating table like Jesus' were on the cross. This struck me as a new identifier with Christ, my Savior and Lord.

This morning, I looked up Galatians 2:20 in my Bible. Sure enough, that was the scripture reference that was brought to my mind yesterday morning. Today I'm reflecting on what it means to be "crucified with Christ."

Below is an excerpt from a Matthew Henry commentary that gives an excellent description of the mysterious life of a believer in Jesus:

[1.] He is crucified, and yet he lives; the old man is crucified (Rom 6:6), but the new man is living; he is dead to the world, and dead to the law, and yet alive to God and Christ; sin is mortified, and grace quickened.

[2.] He lives, and yet not he. This is strange: I live, and yet not I; he lives in the exercise of grace; he has the comforts and the triumphs of grace; and yet that grace is not from himself, but from another. Believers see themselves living in a state of dependence.

[3.] He is crucified with Christ, and yet Christ lives in him; this results from his mystical union with Christ, by means of which he is interested in the death of Christ, so as by virtue of that to die unto sin; and yet interested in the life of Christ, so as by virtue of that to live unto God.

[4.] He lives in the flesh, and yet lives by faith; to outward appearance he lives as other people do, his natural life is supported as others are; yet he has a higher and nobler principle that supports and actuates him, that of faith in Christ, and especially as eyeing the wonders of his love in giving himself for him. Hence it is that, though he lives in the flesh, yet he does not live after the flesh. Note, those who have true faith live by that faith; and the great thing which faith fastens upon is Christ's loving us and giving himself for us. The great evidence of Christ's loving us is his giving himself for us; and this is that which we are chiefly concerned to mix faith with, in order to our living to him.

Father, thank you for this identifier with you - being crucified with Christ, so that I may live in you and for you. Through you alone, I live and have eternal hope. You are the soul of my soul. I live for you, Lord Jesus. This life I live by faith in the Son of God, believing in Christ as the sacrifice for my sin. Thank you for your sacrificial love. The One who gave himself up for me, that I may be saved from the bitter pains of eternal death. I praise you for this intimate, myterious union with Christ that I might know you more fully, Lord, the power of Your resurrection and the fellowship of Your sufferings. Lord, I live for You, the One who redeemed me by Your Son's precious blood. In Jesus' name, AMEN.

In ALL Things He Works

2009-10-17T10:33:00.008-05:00

I read this quote by Kay Arthur this morning, "At the cross we can look beyond the pain and disappointment to the end result: the promise that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose - and only the cross can conform us into His image."

After I read that, I reflected back to 1988 when I claimed the promise from Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose." In 1988, I was divorced, bankrupt and a single mother. I cried out to Him in desperation, to forgive me of my sinfulness and asked Him to be my Lord and Savior. I claimed that promise from His Word that He'd take my messed up life and turn it into good for His glory, some day, some way.

In 20 years, I can see how He's done this very thing in my life repeatedly. Romans 8:28 has become what I like to call my "life verse." It gives me hope that no matter how bad things may seem, He can use it for good beyond my imagination for HIS purpose - not to make me comfortable or happy, but so I may know Him more fully and acquire more of His character.

In this passage of Scripture, the apostle Paul does not say, "We know that some things or most things, but ALL things work for good. From the smallest to the most monumental, from mundane to crisis moments. ALL of them work - not have worked or will work, but are presently at work. He weaves this tapestry together to create a harmonious pattern He desires for His glory and His purpose so that we will reflect His son, Jesus.

As George Mueller said, "In one thousand trials it is not five hundred of them that work for the believer's good, but nine hundred and ninety-nine of them, and one beside."

In the midst of a year with multiple losses, I embrace the cross, my hope in Christ. My hope in His life at work in me and through me for His good purpose for eternity.

Waiting with Expectation

2009-10-01T11:21:00.005-05:00

This morning I read Isaiah 65:24 (New Living Translation) that says:

I will answer them before they even call to me.
While they are still talking about their needs.
I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

I was so encouraged by this promise of answered prayer today, that also tied into the devotional I read from 'Pearls of Great Price,' by Joni Eareckson Tada. She writes:

"If God answers your prayer immediately, be thankful; if it's denied, be patient; if you are to wait, remain eager and expectant. He invites us to have an expectant attitude when we pray. He wants us to be hopeful and eager - even if the answer is delayed for twenty years! Why such a delay? Only God knows."

Lord, Jesus, as You increase my devotion to prayer. I thank you that You hear my voice even before I speak. Help me to trust You, as I wait for Your reply. Give me an expectant heart as I wait eagerly for Your answer. Help me to watchful and thankful as I wait just as it says in Psalm 5:3 - In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

I find it no coincidence this morning that the song playing in my head is "Give Me Jesus," by Fernando Ortega. As I searched on youtube.com for the song, there is a tribute to Ruth Graham with this song. A tribute to a woman of God, a woman of faith, a woman of prayer. Thank you Lord, for her example on this earth.

Colossians 4:2 - Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

A Sure Foundation

2009-09-23T08:36:00.003-05:00

This morning when I sat down to have breakfast I read the passage on the flip calendar sitting on my kitchen table. It said -

"There is no other foundation than God's Word, Beloved! No other is needed, because the Word of God is totally sufficient. If you will embrace the Word of God and bring every dilemma and lay it at the feet of God's Word, then you'll find yourself, like Habbakkuk, walking with hinds' feet and not slipping." - Kay Arthur

The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:19

Once I finished my breakfast I decided to spend some time reading all of Habakkuk chapter 3. The verses that were significant to me this morning were 17-19 where it reads:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL rejoice in the Lord, I WILL be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." (NIV)

In my footnotes it says: "Crop failure and the death of animals would devastate Judah. But Habakkuk affirmed that even in the times of starvation and loss, he would still rejoice in the Lord. Habbakkuk's feelings were not controlled by the events around him, but by faith in God's ability to give him strength. When nothing makes sense, and when troubles seem more than you can bear, remember God gives strength. Take your eyes off your difficulties and look to God.

God will give his followers surefooted confidence through difficult times. They will run like deer across rough and dangerous terrain. At the proper time, God will bring about his justice and completely rid the world of evil. In the meantime, God's people need to live in the strength of his Spirit, confident in his ultimate victory over evil.

Habakkuk saw his own limitations in contrast to God's unlimited control of all the world's events. God is alive and in control of the world and its events. We cannot see all that God is doing, and we cannot see all God will do. But we can be assured that he is God and will do what is right. Knowing this can give us confidence and hope in a confusing world."

Lord God, thank you for the sure foundation of your Word that is totally sufficient. Thank you that when life's circumstances are uncertain and shaky you are the Rock on which I stand - firm and secure. Lord Jesus, forgive me when I give into my feelings and look at circumstances that appear hopeless. Help me to fix my eyes on You, the author and perfecter of my faith and praise you in all things. Call to mind the certain hope I have in You my Savior, who IS my strength. Fill my heart with joy because of that truth. Make it overflow. In Jesus name, Amen.

My Joy, My Song

2009-09-22T09:23:00.003-05:00

Today I was awakened at 5:30 a.m., I drug myself out of bed and met with the Lord. I opened up the ‘Jesus Calling’ devotional and the first Scripture reference was from Exodus 15. I ended up reading all of chapter 15. I felt led to share with you what was laid upon my heart after reading it.

First of all, Exodus 15 is a song of Moses and Miriam. It is a song celebrating God’s victory – lifting hearts and voices outward and upward. After being delivered from great danger, they sang with JOY!

The chapter starts and ends with – “Sing to the Lord for he is highly exalted. The horse and its rider has hurled into the sea.” Let’s sing praises all day today because of the victory we HAVE in Christ. He has overcome. He has hurled the enemy (small e) into the sea.

V9-10
“The enemy boasted, ‘I will pursue, I will overtake them, I will divide the spoils, I will gorge myself on them. I will draw my sword and my hand will destroy them.’
BUT You blew with your breath, and the sea covered them. They sank like lead in the mighty waters.

JESUS IS VICTORIOUS.

v20-21
Then Miriam, the prophetess, Aaron's sister, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women followed her, with tambourines and dancing. Miriam sang to them: "Sing to the Lord, for he is highly exalted. The horse and its rider he has hurled into the sea."

Jesus is my joy and my song.

Turn my Mourning into Dancing

2009-09-21T10:08:00.003-05:00

This has been a year of grief. A year of multiple losses at so many levels. But the Lord has been so near to my grieving heart. As it says in Isaiah 61:3 -

"and provide for those who grieve in Zion -
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."

He's in the process of rebuilding, restoring and renewing me so that my sorrow may be transformed into beauty, gladness and praise of Him. Everlasting joy is mine through Jesus Christ alone.

The chorus of the song, 'Our Great God' has been stuck in my head since last night.

Hallelujah!
Glory be to our great God!
Hallelujah!
Glory be to our great God!

Join me in praising Him. He's SO WORTHY to be praised!

Pray with me that He will turn my mourning into dancing.
Make it so, Lord. Make it so.

Poems from a Friend

2009-09-17T12:02:00.005-05:00

The Lord brought a new friend into my life recently. Today, she shared two poems she's personally written. I asked her if I could post them on my blog because they speak the words I have wrestled with all year.

Even

I will trust You
Even with yesterdays that are broken
And tomorrows that are uncertain
And todays that bear a weight
My shoulders can't stand.

I will surrender
Even with shaky hands stretched high
Having failed this task before
Feeling sweet release to tired bones
Holding on too tight for too long

I will kneel
Even when the world tells me to stand
Or my fearful heart tells me to run
Or my pride tells me to take control

I will pray
Even with no immediate answers
Or no exact reasons
Or no time-line laid out in perfect sequence

I will hope.
Even when it "feels"
Like there is none
Knowing that feelings deceive and
You are Truth.

I will believe
Even when it's hard
And I don't understand
Or I can't see what
You could possibly be doing here

Even Now
In the midst of doing life
I choose to do it in You
And for You.

E.R. 8-09

I Don't Understand

I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To know that You are
Good and
Kind and
Just and
Faithful.

I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To be held in Your arms
Quieted with Your love
Transformed by Your Word
And taken by Your Presence

I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To walk with You
Remain in You
Believe in You
And be strengthened by You.

I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To trust in Your
Promises,
Purposes,
Plans, and
Precepts.

I don’t understand
But I guess I don’t have to…
To step in Faith
Holding Your hand
Knowing the hurt today
Will lead to a Glory
That surpasses all
Understanding tomorrow.

E.R. 06-09

Beauty

2009-09-15T10:08:00.004-05:00

Who is this woman in the mirror?

Her body has changed.
Her hair is gone.
Her skin is dry and pasty white.
Dark circles appear under her eyes.

Her physical appearance
is no longer the essence
of who she is.

Change her
from the inside out.

Create in her
lasting beauty.

Make her radiant
for His glory.

Inner Beauty

2009-09-15T08:55:00.004-05:00

Being a woman who likes to look good, it's been difficult to look in the mirror and see a reflection that appears so different. It is only by God's abundant grace I have been able to face the big physical strikes against my femininity and the abrupt changes in my life. He has given me strength, courage and boldness that only He can give. He is with me to face the challenges and the changes that are happening.

I feel far from beautiful when I look in the mirror and see the affects this disease has had on my body, but I must remember it is not the essence of who I am. Fortunately, the Word of God reminds me that God sees beyond the scars of cancer. He looks at my heart. There is a deeper beauty that I cannot control or manipulate that He is in the process of creating IN me as I surrender my heart, mind and soul to Him. He is the only one who can make me beautiful from the inside out, because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.

There are days it's hard to remember that, as I look in the mirror, because our world is so focused on outward appearance. I pray that He will help me focus on the inner work He's doing, not what cancer has done to my physical body.

He says in Psalm 35:4 that those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. May Jesus help me shine because of His work IN me, which is far more important and lasting than my physical appearance.

I Peter 3:3-4 - Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Being Watchful for Desert Blossoms

2009-09-08T11:38:00.008-05:00

When we don't receive what we pray for or desire, it doesn't mean that God isn't acting on our behalf. Rather, he's weaving his story. Paul tells us in Colossians 4:2, "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." Thanksgiving helps us to be grace-centered, seeing all of life as a gift. It looks at how God's past blessings impact our lives. Watchfulness alerts us to the unfolding drama in the present. It looks for God's present working as it unfolds into future grace.

Watch for the story God is weaving in your life. Don't leave the desert. Corrie ten Boom's father often reminded her, "The best is yet to come."

Excerpt from 'The Praying Life,' by Paul E. Miller

Please pray that I would devote myself to prayer, being watchful for desert blossoms, with a heart full of gratitude and lips that would praise Him.

Thriving in the Desert

2009-09-08T09:07:00.005-05:00

The hardest part of being in the desert is that there is no way out. You don't know when it will end. There is no relief in sight.

A desert can be almost anything. It can be a child who has gone astray, a difficult boss, or even your own sin or foolishness. Maybe you married your desert.

God customizes deserts for each of us. Joseph's desert is being betrayed and forgotten in an Egyptian jail. Moses lives in the Midian desert as an outcast for forty years. The Israelites live in the desert for forty years. David runs from Saul in the desert. All of them hold on to the hope of God's Word yet face the reality of their situations.

The theme of the desert is so strong in the Scripture that Jesus reenacts the desert journey at the beginning of this ministry by fasting for forty days in a desert while facing Satan's temptation. His desert is living with the hope of the resurrection yet facing the reality of his Father's face turned against him at the cross.

The Father turning his face against you is the heart of the desert experience. Life has ended. It no longer has any point. You my not want to commit suicide, but death would be a relief. It's very tempting to survive the desert by taking the bread of bitterness offer by Satan - to maintain a wry, cynical detachment from life, finding a perverse enjoyment in mocking those who still hope.

God takes everyone he loves through a desert. It is his cure for our wandering hearts, restlessly searching for a new Eden. Here's how it works.

The first thing that happens is we slowly give up the fight. Our wills are broken by the reality of our circumstances. The things that brought us life gradually die. Our idols die for lack of food.

The still, dry air of the desert bring a sense of helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer. You come face-to-face with your inability to live, to have joy, to do anything of lasting worth. Life is crushing you.

Suffering burns away the false selves created by cynicism or pride or lust. You stop caring about what people think of you. The desert is God's best hope for the creation of an authentic self.

Desert life sanctifies you. You have no idea you are changing. You simply notice after you've been in the desert awhile that you are different. Things that use to be so important no longer matter.

After a while you notice your real thirsts. While in the desert David writes:
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Psalm 63:1) The desert becomes a window to the heart of God. He finally gets your attention because he's the only game in town.

You cry out to God so long and so often that communication begins to open up between you and God. When driving, you turn off the radio just to be with God. At night you drift in and out of prayer when you are sleeping. Without realizing it, you have learned to pray continually. The clear, fresh water of God's presence that you discover in the desert becomes a well inside your own heart.

The best gift of the desert is God's presence. We see this in Psalm 23. In the beginning of the psalm, the Shepherd is in front of me - "he leads me beside still waters" (verse 2); at the end he is behind me - "goodness and love will pursue me" (verse 6, NIV); but in the middle, as I go through "the valley of the shadow of death," he is next to me - "I will fear no evil, for you are with me" (verse 4). The protective love of the Shepherd gives me courage to face the journey.

Excerpt from 'A Praying Life' by Paul E. Miller

Longing

2009-09-07T09:41:00.004-05:00

I longed to walk along an easy road,
And leave behind the dull routine of home,
Thinking in other fields to serve my God;
But Jesus said, "My time has not yet come."

I longed to sow the seed in other soil,
To be unfettered in the work, and free,
To join with other laborers in their toil;
But Jesus said, "'Tis not My choice for thee."

I longed to leave the desert, and be led
To work where souls were sunk in sin and shame,
That I might win them; but the Master said,
"I have not called thee, publish here My name."

I longed to fight the battles of my King,
Lift high His standards in the thickest strife;
But my great Captain bade me wait and sing
Songs of His conquests in my quiet life.

I longed to leave the uncongenial sphere,
Where all alone I seemed to stand and wait,
To feel I had some human helper near,
But Jesus bade me guard on lonely gate.

I longed to leave the round of daily toil,
Where no one seemed to understand or care;
But Jesus said, "I choose for thee this soil,
That thou might'st raise for Me some blossoms rare."

And now I have no longing but to do
At home, or else afar, His blessed will,
To work amid the many or the few;
Thus, "choosing not to choose," my heart is still.

- A selection from 'Streams in the Desert' by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

Rest

2009-09-02T23:12:00.005-05:00

Be all at rest, my soul, O blessed secret,
Of the true life that glorifies the Lord;
Not always doth the busiest soul best serve Him,
But he htat resteth on His faithful Word.

Be all at rest, let not your heart be rippled,
For tiny wavelets mar the image fair,
Which the still pool reflects of heaven's glory -
And thus the image He would have thee bear.

Be all at rest, my soul, for rest is service,
To the still heart God doth His secrets tell;
Thus shalt thou learn to wait, and watch and labor,
Strengthened to bear, since Christ in thee doth dwell.

For what is service but the life of Jesus,
Lived through a vessel of earth's fragile clay,
Loving and giving and poured forth for others,
A living sacrifice from day to day.

Be all at rest, so shalt thou be an answer
To those who question, "Who is God and where?"
For God is rest, and where He dwells is stillness,
And they who dwell in Him, His rest shall share.

And what shall meet the deep unrest around thee,
But the calm peace of God that filled His breast?
For still a living Voice calls to the weary,
From Him who said, "Come unto Me and rest."

- Freda Hanbury Allen

Excerpt from Streams in the Desert

have not seen, but believe

2009-08-31T08:39:00.004-05:00

I do not ask that He must prove
His Word is true to me,
And that before I can believe
He first must let me see.
It is enough for me to know
'Tis true because He says 'tis so;
On His unchanging Word I'll stand
And trust 'til I can understand.

- E.M. Winter

John 20:29 - Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

Taken Aside

2009-08-27T09:40:00.002-05:00

Taken aside by Jesus,
To feel the touch of His hand;
To rest for a while in the shadow
Of the Rock in a weary land.

Taken aside by Jesus,
In the loneliness dark and drear,
Where no other comfort may reach me,
Than His voice to my heart so dear.

Taken aside by Jesus,
To be quite alone with Him,
To hear His wonderful tones of love
'Mid the silence and shadows dim.

Taken aside by Jesus,
Shall I shrink from the desert place;
When I hear as I never heard before,
And see Him "face to face."

Excerpt from Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

Carried Through the Storms of Life

2009-08-26T07:06:00.001-05:00

Oh What Love

2009-08-24T00:17:00.003-05:00

Oh what love
casts out fear?

Oh what love
never betrays?

Oh what love
never forsakes?

Oh what love
Christ alone

He is love
perfect love

He's the same
yesterday and today

Oh what love
Oh what love

His alone

(Based upon I John 4:7-21)

Sorrowful yet Joyful

2009-08-19T08:32:00.005-05:00

Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. - II Corinthians 6:10 (NLT)

This sums up my feelings well today. I grieve the sudden loss of my father-in-law, yet I am joyful knowing he is in the presence of Jesus for eternity. Only in Christ can joy and sorrow unite.

Christ, the King of Joy. Upon His head are many crowns. Scars upon His hands and feet, the scars of victory. My sorrow melts away into deathless love as I surrender myself to Him for eternity.

Christ, the King of Sorrow. Upon His head the crown of thorns. Scars upon His hands and feet, the scars of agony. With Him, sorrow is greater than any joy I've ever known.

As I follow Christ, through the storms and sunshine, in the bitterness of winter and the radiant warmth of summer, I am sorrowful yet joyful because of His amazing love and sacrifice. Only in Him could joy and sorrow unite in harmony.

Never Let Go

2009-08-13T14:35:00.003-05:00

There will be an end to these troubles,
but until that day comes
I will live to know Christ on this earth...
until that day comes,
still I will praise Him!

until

2009-08-13T13:54:00.004-05:00

drenched in grief
pummeled by losses

dripping wet
not without hope

some day
no more tears

until that day
live
to know Christ

until
share
in His suffering

until
praise Him
through the tears

until

Thirsty

2009-06-22T15:44:00.006-05:00

With each additional chemo treatment I've had, I have noticed an increasing thirstiness after each one. I am constantly thirsty. As the chemo kills the cells within me, my body needs to be replenished and cleansed by cool, refreshing, pure water.

This morning my husband, Rob shared with me what he'd read from John 4 about the Samaritan woman at the well where she asks for a drink of water. Jesus tells the woman that he can provide her with living water.

13 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst . Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." NIV

This is a great word picture from the Bible. Just as my body cannot function without water, my soul cannot function well spiritually without the living God, Jesus.

Psalm 42:1-2 says:
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O' God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
where can I go and meet with God?

Lord Jesus, I praise You that You are the living water. You are the living God. You are the refreshment for my tired body and soul. Cleanse me with Your living water, Your Word and soothe my wounds. You are a cool refreshing drink of water on the parched path I am walking on. You are the thirst quencher in my life. Nothing else satisfies. What a promise to cling to. I will never thirst again when I drink of your goodness and mercy that renews my spirit and gives me life. Thank You for this word picture today. In Jesus' name, AMEN.

Psalm 143:6 - I lift my hands to you in prayer, I thirst for You as parched land thirsts for rain.

Holding On

2009-06-21T09:34:00.007-05:00

Last week, one of my dearly loved girlfriends recommended I listen to the song, "Hold On," by Thirty-three Miles. After I listened to it, I felt inspired to press on. Lord you are SO good to me. You know what I need and when I need to be reassured of Your presence.

Psalm 138:7-8 - Though I am surrounded by troubles, You WILL protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach out Your hand and the power of Your right hand saves me! The Lord WILL work out His plans for my life - for Your faithful love, O'Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me.

Perfect Peace

2009-06-18T09:09:00.009-05:00

Yesterday, after returning from Mayo Clinic for my fourth and final chemo treatment, there was a note on our kitchen counter from a dear sister in Christ who had done some cleaning at our home before Rob & I returned. On the note, she wrote, "I am praying John 14:27 for you and your family. I looked up the Scripture reference this morning. This is what it says:

Peace I leave with you;
My peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.

This message came at an opportune time. Yesterday, we met with a surgeon at Mayo Clinic about the possibility of removing my other breast to reduce the risk of cancer occurring in the future. Given my numerous risk factors such as: family history of breast cancer on maternal & paternal sides of my family; dense breast tissue that is more susceptible to breast cancer & difficult to detect on mammograms; I've had invasive breast cancer at a "young" age. Rob & I left the appointment with a definite decision that another surgery is around the bend (tentatively 3-4 months from now).

I have to admit, it depleted our feelings of celebration even though I completed my chemotherapy yesterday, there was a sinking realization that this race against cancer is definitely not over yet. However, we both are in agreement that we want to do whatever is necessary to reduce my risks of recureence. If this is part of that plan, then we walk forward in faith trusting God's sovereignty.

Last week, I read an excerpt from "Streams in the Desert," by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman on this topic of peace and she referenced the Scripture above that my friend left me yesterday. I feel led to share it as part of this entry, along with a song from Laura Story, titled, "Perfect Peace," both have ministered to me through this healing journey.

First the excerpt from "Streams in the Desert."

"Christ's life outwardly was one of the most troubled lives that ever lived: tempest and tumult, tumult and tempest, the waves breaking over it all the time until the worn body was laid in the grave. But the inner life was a sea of glass. The great calm was always there.

At any moment you might have gone to Him and found rest. And even when the human bloodhounds were dogging Him in the streets of Jerusalem, He turned to His disciples and offered them, as a last legacy, "My peace." (As referenced from John 14:27)"

"Rest is not a hallowed feeling that comes over us in church. it is the repose of the heart set deep in God." DRUMMOND

My peace I give in times of deepest grief,
Imparting calm and trust and My relief.

My peace I give when prayer seem lost, unheard;
Know that My promises are ever in My Word.

My peace I give when thou art left alone -
The nightingale at night has sweetest tone.

My peace I give in time of utter loss.
The way of glory leads right to the cross.

My peace I give when enemies will blame,
Thy fellowship is sweet through cruel shame.

My peace I give in agony and sweat,
For mine own brow with bloody drops was wet.

My peace I give when nearest friend betrays -
Peace that is merged in love, and for them prays.

My peace I give when there's but death for thee -
The gateway in the cross to get to Me. - L.S.P.

Lord Jesus, I thank you for Your perfect peace that passes all understanding during this turbulent time. Help us to keep our minds steadfast trusting in You as you say in Isaiah 26:3-4, You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal. In the power of Jesus' name. AMEN.

Lyrics to the song, "Perfect Peace" by Laura Story

Stay close by My side
Keep your eyes on Me
Though this life is hard
I will give you perfect peace

In this time of trial
Pain that no one sees
Trust Me when I say
I will give you perfect peace

And you'll never walk alone
And you'll never be in need
Though I may not calm the storms around you
You can hide in Me
Burdens that you bear
Offer no relief
Let Me bear your load
Cause I will give you perfect peace

Stay close by My side
And you'll never walk alone
Keep your eyes on Me
And you will never be in need
Though this life is hard
Know that I will always give you perfect peace
I will give you perfect peace

Summer Showers

2009-06-18T08:05:00.009-05:00

Summer showers and storms have arrived in our region in recent days and weeks. For me, it's a literal reminder of the rain that my family and I are currently walking through. However, this week, I read an excerpt from "Streams in the Desert," by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman that I could identify with, but also greatly encouraged me. (Read below)

"Testings are raining upon me which seem beyond my power to endure. Disappointments are raining fast, to the utter defeat of all my chosen plans. Bereavements are raining into my life which are making my shrinking heart quiver in its intensity of suffering. The rain of affliction is surely beating upon my soul these days.

Friend, you are mistaken. It isn't raining for you. It's raining blessing. For, if you will but believe your Father's Word, under that beating rain are springing up flowers of such fragrance and beauty as never before grew in that stormless, unchastened life of yours.

You indeed see the rain. But do you see also the flowers? You are pained by the testings. But God sees the sweet flower of faith which is upspringing in your life under those very trials.

Your heart winces from the suffering. But God sees the tender compassion for other sufferers which is finding birth in your soul.

Your heart winces under the sore bereavement. But God sees the deepening and enriching which that sorrow has brought you.

It isn't raining afflictions for you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Spirit, which are bringing into your life such a spiritual enrichment as all the fullness of worldly prosperity and ease was never able to beget in your innermost soul. J.M.McC."

Genesis 41:52 ..."It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."

Lord Jesus, I pray with expectation and hope that You will make my family and I bloom and be fruitful from this rain storm. In Jesus name, AMEN.

My Refuge

2009-06-15T09:32:00.006-05:00

Last Tuesday evening I had a melt down at the dinner table with my family. The tears streamed down my face, my head held in my hands as I cried out in weariness, "I just want this to be over."

The next morning, I was scheduled to meet with three of my girlfriends for our weekly prayer time, but I didn't even feel strong enough for that. I opened up my "Jesus Calling," devotional and looked up the scripture reference for that particular day, Psalm 62:5. I ended up reading the entire Psalm, the verses that were a comfort for me were 5-8. (read below)

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8

A little later that morning, I received an email from one of the girlfriends I was scheduled to pray with. The three others decided to write their prayers out and send them via email instead of gathering for prayer this week. It was amazing to me how the Lord knit a specific message through separate times of scripture reading and prayer about Him being our refuge.

Here's what one of my friends shared with me:

"Psalm 46 reminds us that You are our refuge, Oh Lord. The definition of refuge is a shelter or protection from danger or distress; a place that provides shelter or protection; a means of resort for help in difficulty. If You are our refuge, that makes us refugees (one that flees for safety; one who flees to a foreign country to escape danger or persecution.) Wow! What a word picture that is and so true of Your awesomeness. Lord, in one way or another all four of us are refugees trying to escape what this world has thrown our way. We face difficulties of letting go, difficulties in our relationships and even difficulties in fleeing to You for safety, shelter and protection. Help us Lord, show us mercy in our weakness and be our refuge. Help us to resort to You with our fears, our pain, our hopelessness, our impatience and all the difficulties that surround us and threaten to pull us away from our rest in You alone. Continually remind us that a refuge is a place that we flee to, not a place that comes to us. We need to flee to You. Help us to see You waiting and to see the lushness of Your presence and to desire to take refuge in You and rest in You."

The very next day, I received a card in the mail from a girlfriend I dearly love who I worked with years ago. In her card she wrote, "God is blessing you right now by offering you refuge in His arms, a safe harbor from the terrible storms of life. Stay strong. Relax, sleep and do all you need to do to gain your strength."

Later this week, I finished reading the book, "The Hiding Place," about Corrie ten Boom, a courageous Christian woman who became a militant heroine of the anti-Nazi underground. She experienced first hand in the concentration camps, as the prophet Isaiah promised, "a hiding place from the wind, a covert from the tempest...the shadow of a great rock in weary land."

Through everyone of these examples, it's as if the Lord was saying to me, "Terri, I AM your hiding place. I will protect you from trouble and surround you with My love. Terri, I AM your shelter from the heat of the day and a refuge and hiding place from the rain and storms of life. Rest in Me, my child. I Am your constant Companion, who sustains you moment by moment. I AM your resting place. I AM your refuge and fortress, whom you can trust."

Lord Jesus, I praise You for being my refuge and my resting place. In Your shelter I am safe and secure. You protect me in this battle called cancer. I am comforted by Your hand of protection upon me. Thank You in the midst of my chemo treatments I can rest in Your love. I can trust You to take care of me and my family, one day at a time. In Jesus' precious name. AMEN.

Psalm 32:7 - You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

A Bright Spot on a Blue Day

2009-06-06T11:49:00.010-05:00

In my physically weakened state there are blue days. Often times, when I need a lift in my spirit I go to my granddaughter, Sydney's website and pull up the latest video and photos our son, Derek and daughter-in-law, Ali have posted. It's been a great way to keep us in the loop of Sydney's latest tricks, milestones and tender moments with them during her first year of life despite the miles between us.

Last night, our daughter, Erin pulled up Sydney's website to show some friends of ours who were visiting. To our surprise, there was a new post, a get well video from Sydney to Grandma Terri. Thanks to her thoughtful mom & dad.

I'd have to say, it's gotta be one of my most treasured get well messages I've received through my healing journey with cancer. The song playing in the background is one Erin & I dedicated to Sydney shortly after my cancer diagnosis.

Needless to say, every time I view it, I cry tears of joy. The photos are from the first moment I met Sydney just hours after her birth through a recent visit in May. The ending photo is a recent picture of her I adore - sporting her first bathing suit!

Sydney, you are a blessing from God in my life.
I love you, Cuppycake. XXOO

Proverbs 17:6 - Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged;

His Grace is Sufficient

2009-06-06T10:59:00.006-05:00

Wednesday, June 3rd, Rob & I traveled to Mayo Clinic for my third round of chemo. The week prior I spent many days in bed sleeping most the day away due to increased fatigue. I was a bit discouraged going into this round already feeling so tired and weak. At my appointment, my oncology, nurse practitioner informed me that my red blood cell counts have dropped and I am anemic. That explained part of the reason for the increased fatigue. Now I'm on a mission to increase iron into my diet to combat the anemia.

As my body weakens from the chemotherapy I recognize a deeper meaning of the phrase "My grace is sufficient for you," from II Corinthians 12:9. My faith is being challenged by a greater, deeper dependency on God, on medical professionals, on friends and loved ones to help me. It's very humbling.

Lord Jesus, thank you for enveloping me with Your grace that sees me through each day. Your Holy Spirit upholds me and sustains me in my weakened state of being. Your treasure is in this weak vessel, this jar of clay made strong by Your all-surpassing power that only comes from You and not me. I praise you for Your overflowing and sufficient grace for each new day. In Jesus name, AMEN.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. II Corinthians 4:7

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. II Corinthians 12:9

Mighty To Save

2009-05-30T13:54:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite worship songs that my family has heard me play repeatedly during this valley.

Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

In My Weakness Renewed by His Love

2009-05-26T23:22:00.002-05:00

My body is wearing down a bit from the second session of chemo. The past 48 hours fatigue nailed me to my bed. The combination of the steroids wearing off and the neulasta shot to boost my white blood cell counts knocked me down for a few days. There is an intense achiness and weakness in my legs. There are moments when I feel so tired, so exhausted, so weak there is nothing left inside to act as energy - I'm totally depleted. All I can do is go to bed and rest. I'm unable to do anything else.

As I've laid in bed resting I've been reflecting on something I read last week by Amy Carmichael from her book Rose from Brier.

O, God, renew us in Thy love today,
For our tomorrow we have not a care,
Who blessed our yesterday
Will meet us there

But our today is all athirst for Thee
Come in the stillness,
O Thou heavenly dew,
Come Thou to us - to me -
Revive and renew.

I'm discovering that there is strength in that quiet stillness of laying on my Father's chest. Unable to do anything else but be still and know He's God. Know He's with me. Know He's holding me. I'm finding peace in being silent in His perfect love, however weary my flesh may be for that particular moment.

I also came across a Henri Nouwen quote that goes along with this subject. I was challenged and encouraged by it.

"Let this time of tiredness
be a time of solitude
where you can recharge your life,
Where your wounds are oiled by Gilead,
your muscles massaged,
your courage renewed,
and your body nourished by My love."

Lord Jesus, even though there are moments when I feel hard pressed on every side, I am not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. I know it is so that the life of Jesus may be revealed through my body. (II Corinthians 4:8-10) Even though I am experiencing multiple losses in my life at this time, I see this as a new beginning of drawing me closer to you, Jesus. Help me to endure the pain with expectancy toward your promise of your perfecting work in me. Give me the stamina I need for today and courage to face tomorrow. Revive and renew me by Your love Father as I rest in You.

The Lord Your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Evidence of His Unfailing Love

2009-05-25T13:48:00.009-05:00

Last week, I noticed a repetitive message occurring during my Bible reading from Psalm 117 & 118. There was an emphasis coming through about God's unfailing love, faithfulness and goodness that I could not ignore.

Psalm 117:2 says:
For he loves us with unfailing love; The Lord's faithfulness endures forever.

Psalm 118:1 & 29 say:
Give thanks to the Lord for he is good! His faithfulness endures forever!

I prayed that God would open my heart, ears, eyes and mind to His unfailing love and faithfulness to me so that I may praise Him more fully through this valley even though I many not "feel" thankful at times.

I jotted a list of my observations -

The day I buzzed off my hair, my sister, Deb traveled 240 miles round trip to make a special delivery of Blue Bunny ice cream and chocolate to console me as only a sister can.

I was given the opportunity to spend some one on one time with my precious granddaughter, Sydney. I enjoyed tender moments of holding her, feeding her, rocking her, going on a walk with she, her dad, my daughter & husband.

I received a beautiful spring bouquet of flowers from my brother, Bob who lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Just to remind me he loves me before I started chemo.

I received a caring phone call from my brother Randy to see how I was doing after my first round of chemo.

Our Japanese student friend, Nao, spent a couple nights with our family before she returned to Japan. She blessed me with her gift of music by playing our piano the afternoon before she left.

My husband, Rob took me shopping for fabric to make scarves so I'd be prepared before my hair fell out. He asked my mom if she'd cut & stitch them to size for my head and she lovingly did so in a quick turn around time.

My mom and sister visited on Mother's Day per my special request. I needed to spend some time be with these two special ladies on that day. We shopped for some flowers that afternoon together. My sister potted them and arranged them for my front entry way while my Mom weeded my garden.

We received a gift card for fuel from our church family, (Trinity Bible) to help with the fuel expense to and from Mayo Clinic.

I received the book, Rose from Brier by Amy Carmichael in the mail from a dear friend a few days before I started my 2nd round of chemo. What a blessing it was to read while I waited to meet with doctors at Mayo and during my chemo treatment.

A sister in Christ made me a few small loaves of gluten-free bread and delivered them to my home.

I had the pleasure of a visit from some long-time friends and neighbors one evening, who also brought me a supply of gluten-free crackers & bread to help combat the side effect of nausea from the chemotherapy.

My mother and father-in-law spent an afternoon with us and stocked my fridge with her homemade strawberry rhubarb jam. (One of my favorites) They also shared information about ginger helping combat nausea then shared some crystallized ginger with me.

My mother stayed with our daughter while I was at Mayo for a couple days. She never comes empty handed - she had a gerber daisy planter to put outside on our patio and homemade chicken noodle soup to put in my freezer so I could "graze" on it after my 2nd round of chemo. She tended to Erin's needs and managed our home as only a grandma can do. She made meals, washed laundry, pulled more weeds from my garden, dusted, vacuumed etc...

A sister in Christ, cleaned my kitchen and bathrooms thoroughly before I returned home from Mayo Clinic after my second round of chemo.

A dear friend and sister in Christ provided a meal for our family after my chemo treatment.

Heartfelt messages sent via email, U.S. postal, text message, voice mail at just the moment I needed to be encouraged. Reminders that me and my family are still being prayed for during this valley.

A faithful friend who has helped give rides to our daughter, Erin to and from school when need to be. Her smile and hug always lifts my spirit.

The laughter of our daughter, Erin spending time with her girl friend at out home gives me joy.

A faithful group of women I can regularly pray with on a weekly basis.

A gorgeous, pink begonia left at my door step from a dear sister in Christ with a note saying, "May the beauty of these flowers lift your spirit to the Lord of Life."

Wow! My heart overflows with gratefulness. As I look over this list (that is certainly not exhaustive) I am in awe of Your loving kindness, tender care, unfailing love and faithfulness to me through others. Lord I ask that You bless each and every one of them in a double portion for their tender acts of love, mercy and compassion to me and my family. Lord, Jesus thank you for giving me a fresh perspective. For helping me see and to choose to praise you in spite of how I may feel physically or emotionally. I praise you Jesus for who You are - a faithful, loving, good Father. For what You do and what You give - blessings from above in tangible ways through others. May I never forget how simple acts of kindness done in Your name bless others profoundly. Thank you precious Lord, Jesus.

Hebrews 13:15-16 - Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess His name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

2009-05-25T07:09:00.006-05:00

At my first chemo treatment, my oncologist went over the side effects of the chemotherapy drugs she warned me that one of the side effects from adriamycin is hair loss. It was at the top of the list. She said I could expect my hair to fall out approximately 14 days after my initial chemo treatment.

Sure enough, just as she predicted, my hair started falling out more excessively 14 days later.

Thankfully, (with a nudge from my husband, because I had been fighting denial) I scheduled an appointment with my beautician to come to our home on that 14 day marker. My initial hope was that I'd only have to cut it shorter then buzz it off the next time. That wasn't meant to be.

On that morning of the 14th day, after I'd showered and went through my usual morning routine of dressing, drying and styling my hair, putting on my makeup, etc. I thought I'm going to see what will happen if I gently clasp my fingers around my hair at the nape of my neck and gently pull. I wanted to see how much might come out because I'd been noticing for several days it had been falling out more and more, as well as my skelp was feeling tingly. I wasn't terribly surprised when the hair came out with ease. I clasped some more hair between my fingers at the nape of my neck and did it several more times until I covered the basin of the sink with my hair as evidence to show my husband, daughter and beautician that today was the day my hair would be going.

I called my husband and daughter into the bathroom to show them the hair in the sink. We all stood in a daze, then we embraced one another, shared tears of sorrow. Sorrow of having to walk through this and recognizing yet another level of reality sinking in about the path yet before us.

An hour later, my beautician showed up at our home. I took her to the bathroom to show her the hair in the sink. She said if it's coming out that easily it will only be a matter of a couple days and it will all be falling out in clumps. She hugged me with tear filled eyes and reassured me that it will grow back.

We got the dining room set up as a temporary salon. Placed a drop cloth under my chair and positioned me in front of a mirror we have in the dining room so I could watch the progression of my hair being cut shorter. She cut it off in stages. Little by little my graying, blond locks dropped to the floor and the clipper heads were changed numerous times. When I got to the butch hair cut I had to make sure I got a photo for our son, Derek because he said to me the day before, "It's not every day you and I will have the same haircut, Mom!" Our daughter looked on in sadness with tears rolling down her face. I looked into the mirror in wonder, laughing, smiling, joking about the various hair styles I've had in times past when I was a child - the dreaded pixie and shags!

I'm still not use to passing by a mirror and seeing myself without the center piece of my appearance gone. I can say, it sure saves a lot of time getting ready in the morning! I'm learning to style and wear a wig and experimenting with hats and scarves as a new form of assessory. My favorite hat so far is one my husband bought for me. It's a lavendar, baseball type cap that says, "Life is Good!" I actually believe, "Life is Hard, but God IS good!" I think this cap may become a "signature" as I walk through this phase of my treatment.

Lord Jesus, I am amazed at the grace You poured out upon me for this very day that I had been dreading and hoping wouldn't happen. I lay my appearance before Your throne of grace. Thank You for teaching through this experience the meaning of true beauty. As You say in Your Word (I Peter 3:3-4), You desire the inner beauty of a gentle, quiet spirit which is of great worth in Your sight. I ask You to carve that into my heart, mind and soul in a deeper level than You ever have before. Peal away the vanity and pride in me by Your loving and patient ways, so that I may glorify You more fully. In Jesus Name, I ask this. AMEN.

First Round

2009-05-12T22:45:00.004-05:00

Last Monday, May 4th, at the crack of dawn I went to Allen Hospital to have a medi-port surgically implanted near my left collar bone so that I could receive chemo in one location instead of being poked in numerous places.

When we arrived home later that morning after that procedure, we were informed that there was a power outage at the Cedar Valley Medical Park and I would not be able to receive my first chemo treatment that afternoon as scheduled.

Due to previous medical delays we've already experienced, Rob & I took this as a sign that I was to go back up to Mayo Clinic. Rob called Mayo right away. They were able to get me in the next morning, Tuesday, May 5th.

I had a blood draw at 6:40 am, then we met with the oncology nurse later that morning. She informed Rob & I of the numerous side effects of the specific chemotherapy I'd be receiving. Then she provided a list of meds that will help counter act the side effects. She warned me that my hair will probably fall out 10 to 14 days after my first treatment, then wrote me a script for a wig.

While Rob & I were in the waiting area of 10 East, we met three women dressed in Mexican attire. They were celebrating Cinco de Mayo at Mayo with their friend, Lisa who is also battling breast cancer. Lisa offered me some encouragement to ease my anxiety. One of the things her friend said to me, that I will hold close to my heart as I return for my next treatment - "This is a place where new friends meet."

The actual chemo treatment was painless because the needle was accessible when I had the medi-port placed the day before. I didn't even feel a needle prick. I sat back in a chair that looks like one you'd sit in for a pedicure, turned my ipod on, put my earphones in and relaxed. It took approximately one hour for them to administer the two chemo drugs (adriamycin and cytoxan)through the IV.

The following day, I had a neulasta booster shot to bolster my white blood cells. This will be part of the routine, twenty-four hours after each chemo treatment. The nurse warned me it may cause muscle aches and pains the next day. I don't remember that so much as being really fatigued by noon the next day.

The first four nights after treatment I had insomnia. WIDE AWAKE until about 3 am. I guess this is a common side effect of chemo and the anti-nausea meds. You trade one thing for another. I'd rather be awake in the middle of the night then puking any day. For me, I'd say it's a good trade off.

Today, it's been one week since that first treatment, I am pleased to say that the side effects have been manageable so far. They loaded me up with anti-nausea meds through my IV before I left Mayo and sent me home with some to take for the first four days. I'm learning it's best to "graze" a little bit throughout the day vs. eating larger meals and constantly drink small portions of water all day long. There have been moments of muscle & joint aches, pains and fatigue that totally wipes me out - basically my body is screaming at me - "You MUST rest NOW!" then I do.

Lord Jesus, I thank you that the side effects of the chemo therapy have been manageable so far. I give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His faithful love endures forever. How can I praise Him enough? (Psalm 106:1-2)

Clear & Confident Direction

2009-04-30T10:05:00.009-05:00

I've been waiting and wondering for weeks whether or not I would need chemotherapy as part of the next phase of my breast cancer treatment. One oncologist, recommended no chemotherapy, while the second oncologist did. You may think, it must be difficult to know which direction is the right one to take.

Yesterday, during my second opinion appointment with an oncologist at Mayo Clinic, Rob & I both heard this clear message:

"Up to 10 weeks following surgical removal of cancerous tumors is the prime time to kill any residual "maverick" cancer cells that may be in the blood stream before they have a chance to grow anywhere else in the body (such as liver, lungs, bones or brain). A chemotherapy regimen lowers your cancer recurrence rate significantly. If you choose not to take chemo and your cancer recurs somewhere else in your body, the cancer will be treatable, but more likely terminal."

The last sentence in that statement was the turning point for Rob & I,in making a confident decision to proceed with chemotherapy. We have been praying Psalm 32:8 together and with others for God's guidance, advise and watchful eye over this process. We feel that was answered yesterday. This is the way - walk in it - it's best.

To me, a regimen of chemotherapy is a bit of an insurance policy, if you will, so that I’m that much closer to being “cured” from breast cancer. For me, the short term pain of chemotherapy is worth the long term gain.

Lord Jesus, I thank you for Your clear direction in making these tough decisions. Thank you for keeping Your watchful eye on me every step of the way through this process - guiding, directing and advising me. I praise You for giving Rob & I unity about this decision, even though Rob would prefer to spare me from the pain, he knows it's best for me long term. Lord Jesus, please BE my family & I's strength through this next phase of treatment in the days, weeks and months ahead.

Psalm 32:8 - The Lords says, "I WILL guide you along the best pathway for your life. I WILL advise you and watch over you."

Isaiah 30:21 - Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

I Do Not Belong

2009-04-24T08:58:00.011-05:00

This song, "I Do Not Belong," reminded me that this world is not all there, because I believe in Jesus Christ. This world is not my home. This world of broken pieces is not all there is for anyone who receives Jesus as Lord and Savior of their life.

In Paul's testimony from Philippians 1:20-24 he says: "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body."

What Paul was saying is that "to live," meant to develop eternal values and to tell others about Christ. Paul's whole purpose in life was to speak boldly for Christ and to become more like Him. Paul was able to say with confidence, that dying would be even better than living because death would remove him from worldly troubles and he would see Christ face to face.

Below are the lyrics of "I Do Not Belong," by Kutless plus the audio/video of it.

I Do Not Belong

I look around
and feel like
things change
and I don't know why

Every day that passes by
I feel so far away
I can see in the distance
You have the rest of me
I put my trust in You
as I look beyond today
It's all becoming clear

CHORUS
I do not belong
in a world of broken pieces
I was meant to be
in the arms of Your redemption
I am moving on
to the place of your perfection
cuz I do not belong

When the world
is behind me
on the day
that I breath my last
In the face of eternity
there is hope
because I believe

When I look to the heavens
In the future
that you hold
It makes it easier
to see beyond today
Now I'm looking to the sky

CHORUS

This world is not
my home
I'm a stranger in this land
but I'm not alone

CHORUS

Lord Jesus, I thank you for this eternal perspective today, that my life is not my own; that this world is not my home. In this valley, I must be honest, there have been days, when I've been torn between the desire of seeing You face to face or remaining here on earth. This I know, while I am here on this earth, my purpose is to glorify You and make You known to others. Give this ordinary woman courage and confidence in who You are in my life to make that so. I adore you Lord, Jesus.

John 15:19 - ...As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.

A New Song in My Heart

2009-04-22T11:43:00.005-05:00

Today I am reaping a blessing from the Lord, from Psalm 40:3 where it says, He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

The song He has put in my heart today, I heard for the first time on the radio this morning after dropping my daughter off at school. It's titled, "Can't Take Away," by a new Christian Rock group, Mikeschair. Below are the lyrics to it -

Can't Take Away

All around
All of us
Fear has come
and so we must
Ask ourselves
in who we trust
What we have here
is not enough
So let it ring
in freedom sing

CHORUS
You can take away
Everything that I've been holdin'
You can take away the sun
You can take away
the very air that I've been breathin'
But you CAN'T take away MY GOD!

Rains will come
Winds will blow
But it's not here
I found my hope
My bleeding heart
My weary soul
Is held by One
Who won't let go
So I'll cling
to you my King

CHORUS

A hope that can't be lost
A love that can't be bought
YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY GOD!
Nothin high or low
Nothin you can control
YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY GOD!

CHORUS

As I listen to this song, I'm reminded of the story of Job and his suffering. Yet in his suffering he did not forsake God. Job's testimony displays love for God - for who He is, NOT what he gives.

Job 1:20-22..."The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." In all of this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Lord, Jesus, thank you for putting this new song in my heart today. No matter what may be taken away, NOTHING can take You away from me. My security is in You alone.

Definitions of Faith

2009-04-21T08:11:00.003-05:00

Excerpts from Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

Each of three boys gave a definition of faith which is an illustration of the tenacity of faith. The first boy said, "It is taking hold of Christ"; the second, "Keeping hold"; and the third, "Not letting go."

Faith says not, "I see it is good for me, so God must have sent it," but, "God sent it, and so it must be good for me."

Faith, walking in the dark with God, only prays Him to clasp its hand more closely.

The Shepherd does not ask of thee
Faith in thy faith, but only faith in Him;
And this He meant in saying, "Come to me."
In light or darkness seek to do His will,
And leave the work of faith to Jesus still.

Faith is...the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

True faith drops its letter in the post office box, and lets it go. It hands its case over to God, and then He works.

Waiting Patiently

2009-04-21T07:45:00.003-05:00

A dear sister in Christ recommended I read Psalm 40:1-3 today. It says:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.

Waiting for God to help us is not easy, but as I read this today I noticed what God promises He will do if we obediently wait upon Him. In verse one, He promises to turn to me and hear my cry. In verse two, He promises to lift me out of the pit and set my feet on a firm place to stand. In verse three, He promises to put a new song in my mouth, one that praises Him so that many will put their trust in Him.

I especially noticed my "job" is to wait - then He acts on my behalf in ways I can not possibly do without Him. Isn't that a beautiful thing? As I wait, that gives me an increased hope in Him plus anticipation of the blessings that will follow. Lord help me to wait patiently.

Standing Still

2009-04-21T07:42:00.000-05:00

"Stand still" - keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long and God shall say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Isreal, "Go forward."

C.H. Spurgeon

Prayer for the Church

2009-04-17T15:35:00.003-05:00

Prayer for the Church, by Jeremy Riddle is a song that was introduced to me this Wednesday from a friend who gave me the Jeremy Riddle's CD titled, "The Now and Not Yet." (Unfortunately, I am unable to find the song on youtube.com so I could attach it.) I've been playing it repeatedly as a prayer for the "church" at large - the Body of Christ - believers in Jesus world wide. Would you join me in this prayer?

Where she is weak.
Strengthen arms now, steady feet.
That she would care for, she would seek.
Welcoming Your lost and wounded sheep.
Coming home to you.

Where she is stained.
Bring Your healing., bring Your rain.
Wash away now her disgrace.
Til she shines in white, she radiates.
She now mirrors You.

No more compromises, no more moral crises.
Tonight may she move and act as You.
No more small divisions.
No more lack of wisdom.
Tonight may she move and act as You.

Where she is right give her courage for the fight.
Full of salt now, full of light.
Standing firm where truth and love collide.
She remains in You.

Now she's shining.
Her light is blinding as she sings Your name.
Now she's beauty.
Up from the ashes, Your love is on her face.

Where she is strong, keep her moving, pressing on.
Bringing justice, righting wrongs.
Demonstrating now Your Kingdom come.
She's in step with You.

Lord Jesus, make us more like You. May we act more like You. May we love more like You. May we shine more like You in this darkened world. Help us stand firm in You. Help us remain in You. Keep us pressing on and into You. Give us strength and courage for the fight. Help us to be in step with You, Father. May our love for You never cease and our adoration increase as we cry out to You in our need to be transformed into the likeness of Your son, Jesus.

Movin' Forward and Still Waiting

2009-04-17T09:58:00.004-05:00

On March 16th, I met with the oncologist for the first time. At that appointment he ordered two genetic tests with the intent that these results will help guide the decisions about the next phase of my cancer treatment. I was told it would take 14-21 days for the results to be in.

This week (a month since the first visit), the oncologist gave me the results from the BRAC1 & 2 test. Both of them were negative! I am not a gene carrier for breast cancer or ovarian cancer. Those results indicate I have a lower risk for breast cancer to reoccur. Just as important, it reduces the risk for my daughter, Erin & granddaughter, Sydney from battling this disease in the future. I am thankful to God for this wonderful news!

At this same appointment the oncologist apologetically reported that there is yet another delay with the Oncotype DX test results. I need to wait another 10-14 days longer. Sigh. The results of this test will determine whether or not I need chemotherapy and more surgery.

Thankfully, I ended this week with my second opinion appointment scheduled at Mayo Clinic on Wednesday, April 29th.

I'm at a place now, where I desire to move forward and get the next phase of my treatment behind me - whatever that regimen is going to be. I want to know what's next.

I've had to make a choice daily - do I focus on the delays and the failure of man or do I rest in Jesus. Honestly, it's been difficult for me. Some days I get stuck, focused on what didn't work out, reliving the disappointments. I must move on, move forward. I do not understand why God permitted the delays. He knows and understands every disappointment, every loss, every challenge. Before long He will reveal the next steps I need to take on this journey.

Lord, Jesus, I lay my disappointments down before Your throne. Thank You for the wonderful results from the first test. Forgive me for my impatience and desire to control the timetable of this journey. Thank You Father that You have every day of my life recorded in Your book. Help me to wait with a spirit of praise and continue to build my physical stamina for the next phase of treatment. Keep my head lifted up and gazing at You, standing still in Your presence with a heart of gratitude rejoicing in Your love and faithfulness. I know You desire for me to walk by faith not sight, trusting You more completely and resting more fully in Your presence. Thank You for reassuring me that before long, You will direct me in what ways to move forward for my long term benefit. For now, help me to wait a little longer - obediently.

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! - Isaiah 30:18

Exercising Faith by Clinging to the Word

2009-04-15T10:52:00.006-05:00

Excerpt from Streams from the Desert, George Mueller

Psalm 119:42 - ...I trust in your word.

Just in proportion in which we believe that God will do just what He has said, is our faith strong or weak? Faith has nothing to do with feelings, or with impressions, with improbabilities, or with outward appearances. If we desire to couple them with faith, then we are no longer resting on the Word of God because faith needs nothing of the kind. Faith rests on the Word of God. When we take Him at His Word the heart is at peace.

God delights to exercise faith, first for blessing in our own souls, then for blessing in the church at large, and also for those without. But this exercise we shrink from instead of welcoming. When trials come, we should say: "My heavenly Father puts this cup of trial into my hands, that I may have something sweet after wards."

Trials are the food of faith. Oh, let us leave ourselves in the hands of our heavenly Father! It is the joy of His heart to do good to all His children.

But trials and difficulties are not the only means by which faith is exercised and thereby increased. There is the reading of the Scriptures, that we may acquaint ourselves with God as He has revealed Himself in His Word.

Are you able to say, from the acquaintance you have made with God, that He is a lovely Being? If not, let me affectionately entreat you to ask God to bring you to this, that you may admire His gentleness and kindness, that you may be able to say how good He is, and what a delight it is to the heart of God to do good to His children.

Now the nearer we come to this in our inmost souls, the more ready we are to leave ourselves in His hands, satisfied with all His dealings with us. And when trials come, we shall say: "I will wait and see what good God will do to me by it, assured He will do it." So that we will bear an honorable testimony before the world and we will strengthen the hands of others.

A passage of Scripture I read this morning that ties to the above excerpt:

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca, (which means weeping)
they will make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

-Psalm 84:5-6 & 11-12

Moving into the Unknown

2009-04-13T20:23:00.006-05:00

Excerpt from The Dance of Life, Weaving Sorrows and Blessings into One Joyful Step by Henri Nouwen

It takes courage to move away from the safe place into the unknown, even when we know that the safe place offers false safety. We realize quite well that giving up the familiar and reaching out with open arms towards Him who transcends all our mental grasping and clinging makes us very vulnerable. Somewhere we sense that, although holding on to our illusions might lead to a truncated life, the surrender in love leads to the cross....

It is a sign of spiritual maturity when we can give up our illusory self-control and stretch out our hands to God. But it would be just another illusion to believe that reaching out to God will free us from pain and suffering. Often, indeed, it will take us where we would rather not go. But we know that without going there we will not find our life. "Anyone who loses his life...will find it." (Matthew 16:25) Jesus says, reminding us that love is purified in pain.

...our entering into God's intimacy is an entering into the intimacy where all human suffering is embraced in divine compassion.

...It is there, where love and pain are found together.

I'm in Over My Head

2009-04-09T08:03:00.009-05:00

As I was driving our daughter, Erin to school this morning I was listening to the WOW Hits 2008 CD in our car when the song, "Over My Head" by Brian Littrell played. As I listened I thought to myself those are the words to the feelings I've been wrestling with the past several days. Despite the fact I don't understand His ways that are so much higher than mine, there is one thing deep in my soul that I am sure of - Christ's love is covering me. It's been a struggle for me to surrender and just rest in my Lord and Savior's loving embrace and allow Him to carry me.

Over My Head by Brian Littrell

I tried to figure it out
Time and time again and time again
I guess there's just some things I'll never understand
'Cause Your ways aren't our ways
But deep down in my soul, down in my soul
There is one thing I know that I know

I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head

I've been holding on
Now I'm letting go, just letting go
Gonna let Your love carry me away
I don't know where I'm going
But I'm surrounded by the truth
And I can feel the current pulling me
Deeper and deeper into You

You see me for who I am
You did reach out Your hand
You made me understand
That Your love has always covered me

Isaiah 55:8-9 - "For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Ephesians 3:17-19 - so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

A Resting Time

2009-04-06T09:45:00.002-05:00

Excerpt from Streams in the Desert by Frances Ridley Havergal

I laid it down in silence,
This work of mine,
And took what had been sent me,
a resting time.
The Master's voice had called me,
To rest apart;
"Apart with Jesus only,"
Echoed my heart.

I took the rest and stillness
from His own Hand,
And felt this present illness
Was what He planned.
How often we choose labor,
When He says, "Rest."
Our ways are blind and crooked;
His way is best.

The work Himself has given,
He will complete.
There may be other errands
For tired feet;
There may be other duties
For tired hands,
The present, is obedience
To His commands.

There is a blessed resting
In lying still,
In letting His hand mold us,
Just as He will.
His work must be completed.
His lesson set;
He is the higher Workman:
Do not forget!

It is not only "working."
We must be trained;
And Jesus "learned" obedience,
Through suffering gained.
For us, His yoke is easy,
His burden light.
His discipline most needful,
And all is right.

We are but under-workmen;
They never choose
If this tool or if that one
Their hands should use.
In working or in waiting
May we fulfill
Not ours at all, but only
the Master's will.

Lord Jesus, forgive me for not embracing this resting time with You. It's a gift from You to heal and restore me. A time to draw nearer to You. Help me to be still and know You more intimately. Thank You that You know what this wearied one needs - it's more of You. Help me to rest in Your presence today - filled with love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and compassion. Complete the work You have begun in my life as I rest in You.

Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Exodus 33:14 - The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

The March Winds Blow

2009-03-31T11:02:00.003-05:00

Ecclesiastes 8:7-8 - Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come? No man has power over the wind to contain it...

Excerpt from Streams in the Desert - March 31st

The wind was contrary - (Matthew 14:24)

Rude and blustering the winds of March often are. Do they not typify the tempestuous seasons of my life? But, in deed, I ought to be glad that I make acquaintance with these seasons. Better it is that the rains descend and the floods come than that I should stay perpetually in the Lotus Land where it seems always afternoon, or in that deep meadowed Valley of Avilion where never wind blows loudly. Storms of temptation appear cruel, but do they not give earnestness to prayer? Do they not compel me to seize the promises of God with a tighter grip? Do they not leave me with a character refined?

Storms of bereavement are keen; but, then they are one of the Father's ways of driving me to Himself, that in the secret of His presence His voice may speak to my heart, soft and low. There is a glory of the Master which can be seen only when the wind is contrary and the ship tossed with waves.

"Jesus Christ is no security AGAINST storms, but He is perfect security IN storms. He has never promised you an easy passage, only a safe landing."

Lord Jesus, as I hear the March winds howl today may I rest in the security of Your Everlasting Arms knowing You are my shelter in the storms of life.

Lyrics Speak to Me

2009-03-30T12:39:00.007-05:00

A couple months ago, I bought a CD by Laura Story because I absolutely love the song "Mighty to Save" on it. Although I bought the CD specifically for that one song, I discovered the first song on the CD speaks to my heart at the present time. It's a great reminder for me of God's sovereignty in my life. His plans and purposes are so much higher than mine. Although I don't understand them presently, I must continue to praise Him for who He is, what He's done for me and what He will do in the future.

"Bless the Lord" by Laura Story

You give and take away
for my good
For who am I to say
what I need
For You alone can see
the hidden parts of me
that need to be stripped away

And as You begin
to refine
I'm learning to let go
and rely
on One who walks with me
as hard as it maybe
You're teaching me
all the while to say

CHORUS
Bless the Lord
Oh my soul
all that's in me
bless Your name
Forget not Your power untold
not Your glory
or Your fame
For You came to heal the broken
to redeem
and make me whole
Bless the Lord
Oh my soul

Lord you give and take away
for my good
For who am I to say
what I need
For You alone can see
the hidden parts of me
that need to be stripped away
And as You begin to refine
I'm learning to let go
and rely
on One who walks with me
as hard as it may be
You're teaching me all the while to say

CHORUS
Bless the Lord
Oh my soul
all that's in me
bless Your name
Forget not Your power untold
not Your glory
or Your fame
For you came to heal the broken
to redeem
and make me whole
Bless the Lord
Oh my soul

Though my faith may falter
and my strength may fail
I pray for eyes to see
the richness of Your mercy
shown to me

Bless the Lord
Bless the Lord

CHORUS
Bless the Lord
Oh my soul
all that's in me
bless Your name
Forget not Your power untold
not Your glory
or Your fame
For you came to heal the broken
to redeem
and make me whole
Bless the Lord
Oh my soul

Being Renewed As I Wait

2009-03-26T09:52:00.013-05:00

Two months have passed since Pandora's box opened after that routine physical exam. A lot of new information to "process." New medical terms to learn. New medical procedures to experience for the first time. Life changing decisions to make on a flip of a dime. So much I knew nothing about - now familiar.

I'm at an interim period for another week or two. A reprieve from doctor appointments and medical procedures. A time to heal a little more. A time to build physical strength and stamina before the next phase of treatment begins. Learning to wait. A longer duration this go around. Awaiting genetic test results that will help us decide what to do next. Chemotherapy? More surgery?

Learning that my Lord Jesus is near every step of the way on this unfamiliar path. He has permitted this path and allowed it for my benefit and His glory. I don't understand it. I won't pretend to. I may not understand it for several years but, I'm trusting whatever the next phase of treatment is, it will be the best path for me - long term. Perhaps it is also necessary for others who are walking with me or necessary for bystanders watching or for people I have yet to meet on this path.

I am at peace now. No more fear of what's next. Acceptance is growing at a deeper level. I know He's with me. I believe He is good. I trust His ways are best for me. I have hope for my future because of Him. Future blessings will come from this as I trust in Him. He promises that in His Word. He's proven that to me over and over again in my life. He's brought joy in my life from heartache and suffering before, He will do it again.

While I wait another week or two for the next oncology appointment to discuss the next phase of treatment, I am to be still in His presence. Rest, as He renews my strength (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually). Wait quietly. Receive His compassions that are new every morning. Receive His gift of peace that passes all understanding. Marvel at the eternal hope I have because of Jesus' unfailing love for me. The One who died and rose again that I, too, may live. That IS hope I can trust in!

Lamentations 3:21-26 - Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:57 - You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear."

Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

Shalom

2009-03-24T17:54:00.003-05:00

Rested. A verb.
Requires action, to do nothing.
But something more than nothing.

Shalom. A noun. Or is it?
Requires nothing, to feel something.
Noun that causes an action.
Feeling becomes Truth.

To rest in Him that I might find shalom.

Jesus, Prince of Peace, have mercy on me, a sinner.

I wrote the above "poem" on my friends blog regarding the Sabbath. A friend of mine, Greg Dolmage, keeps a blog at his church website(www.erc.la/connect-blog)in California. He spoke of the sabbath and to keep it holy and rest in Him. As a type A, outgoing personality, I must be daily reminded to rest in Him. I am the American male...work, work, work. If I am resting, relaxing, taking a deep breath, I feel guilty.

Instead I should feel gratitude to be alive and able to know my Creator at an intimate level. To rest in His Creation. Could overwork be a respectable sin we tolerate? If it is, which I think we all know it is...then I am a sinner that must learn to rest in Him and confess this sin of "busyness." Jesus, the Prince of Peace, watch over me and my household and help me to rest in You so that I may know you more intimately. (Rob)

waiting, trusting, hoping

2009-03-17T11:26:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was my first oncology appointment. I am waiting once again for test results. This time two genetic tests (Oncotype DX & BRAC1 & BRAC2). Both predict in different ways what the likelihood is of this cancer to reoccur. From these results the next steps of treatment will be formed. A possibility I don't need chemotherapy. I am cautiously optimistic. The possibility of more surgery lurks on the horizon. Hmmm...what's the best case scenario?

Lord, you already know the results of these tests. Prepare me and my family for the next steps. Help us to trust You as we wait - again.

You say in Psalm 32:8, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

We seek Your wisdom as we make decisions with the medical staff to reduce the risk of cancer reoccurring anywhere else in my body.

James 1:5-6 says, If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives it generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

Help me and my family Lord, to wait expectantly in hopeful trust, knowing and believing you will guide me on the best pathway for my life. I will wait upon You. I will trust in You. I will hope in You, Lord Jesus.

dying to self

2009-03-17T11:14:00.003-05:00

loss of feminine form
to be shaped into the image of Christ

loss of health
to share in Christ's suffering

loss of independence
that grace may extend more & more

loss of energy
to gain rest

loss of self-sufficiency
to learn dependence upon God

loss of control
to trust Jesus more deeply

loss of strength
to understand weakness

loss of comfort
so the life of Jesus may be visible
in ordinary flesh

loss of plans
so my faith may be strengthened

loss of happiness
to produce joy and generosity

loss of my will
to live for His

dying to self
to know Christ more intimately

Blessed to be a blessing

2009-03-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

I remember a young woman standing up at a Navigator Collegiate Ministries Conference in Florida talking about a friend. This friend was "messed up," hurting and wounded. The young woman talked about how she felt compelled to just keep loving the hurting college student. Not pressuring her to become a believer, just loving her.

At one point in the relationship the "messed up" girl said to her friend, and I paraphrase: "you haven't given up on me, you are like Jesus, Jesus with skin on."

Jesus began his ministry with these words from Isaiah 61:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners."

Over and over again these past weeks I have felt love from so many friends, followers of Jesus and those that don't yet know His love.

I am reminded of the phrase "blessed to be a blessing." I have felt so much kindness and concern that has so richly blessed my soul. For months now I have been depressed and hurting and yet in the midst of coming to grips that Terri is battling cancer I find joy and hope because others have blessed us. You, our friends and family have been like "Jesus, with skin on" for us.

Your love has awakened again in me the desire to reach out and be a blessing to others.

We do not know how a simple random act of kindness or a purposeful reaching out to someone that is hurting outwardly or brokenhearted inside may just be what is needed to help them find the love of Jesus to mend them physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

His story is lived out daily when we become His hands and feet.

Loving Him, loving others. (Rob)

In 1757, Robert Robinson penned the words to the famous hymn, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. This modern interpretation is one of faith,perseverance, of redemption and forgiveness.