Friday, November 20, 2009

The More I Seek

Over the course of this year, in my distress, I have turned to the the Lord. He has been so incredibly near to me. The more I seek Him, the more I find Him, the more I find Him, the more I love Him.

This year I've been set aside to focus on my health and many days have felt useless. Yet, I've discovered the richness of my salvation in Jesus, the joy of His constant, unconditional love in a deeper more profound way than ever before.

Too often I have judged myself based on how I look, behave and feel. I've felt unworthy of love much of my life. If I liked what I saw in the mirror or if things in my life were going smoothly or my "performance" seemed "adequate" I found it easier to believe I was loved and accepted.

As I've rested in the presence of the Lord for several months, I've come to realize that He loves me as I am, not for what I "do" or look like. He desires me to stop judging myself and "fixing" myself, so that I will be accepted or loved by people. He wants me to redirect my thoughts to see myself clothed in His righteousness, radiant in His perfect love. Not by ANYTHING I can do, but by His incomparable richness of grace, love and mercy - all free gifts from Him.

He is teaching me to release my idol of approval of man for the Lord's affirmation that is not dependent upon achievement or outward appearance. He is reminding me to be at peace with the way He has created me. My ultimate purpose on this earth is to love and worship Him. It seems too simple, yet so complex. From the overflow of my love and devotion to Him I can love others more freely without fear of rejection.

While my body continues to heal from the scars of cancer and emotional wounds, I am to be still, rest in His presence, cease striving, relax. That is so counter cultural, our society defines our "value" if we're busy, striving, doing more to prove our worth.

Lord, thank you for drawing near to me as I've drawn nearer to You. Your love is so deep, it's more that I can understand. I melt in your peace. It's overwhelming.


Deuteronomy 4:29-31 But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon you...


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Grieved

The apostle Paul wrote, "Though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials" (I Peter 1:6). Not only do we have various trials, they also grieve and depress us. It happens to the best of God's servants. I know several people who love the Lord, and the Lord loves them. They are precious to Him. They are humble, gentle, and gracious people, but they have come into deep trouble or some heavy cloud rests upon them. It is especially to these individuals that I write.

Dear troubled friends, you may have grief or sorrow that is not known to anybody. You od not want to reveal it. You would not whisper it to the dearest confidant that you have on earth. You keep it to yourself. Perhaps this is the reason that it becomes so bitter. Communicating to some Christian friend might be a real help. There is relief in shedding tears when you are in great anguish. If you can have a good cry, you can get over the trouble more readily.

Yet sometimes you cannot find expression for grief and the pent-up flame becomes more fierce. If you have a grief that you cannot tell to any human being, let me affectionately invite you to look to Jesus. Tell the Lord all about your sorrow, and ask Him to give you help in your time of need. Whatever it is, tell it to Him. As surely as Jesus lives, He will hear and answer, and you will go your way in peace.

I do not know the details of your situation. "The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy" (Proverbs 14:10. There are depths and there are heights where we must be by ourselves. Do not be surprised if, as far as human beings are concerned, you sometimes have to sail alone. BUT if Christ is in the vessel, you cannot be in better company. You're NOT ALONE.

Excerpt from 'Beside Still Waters' by C.H. Spurgeon, Edited by Roy H. Clark

I Peter 1:6-7 - In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Father

My dear friends, remember that you have a Father in heaven. When all is gone and spent, you can still say, "My Father." Your relatives may be gone, but your Father lives. Friends may leave, just as the birds fly south for the winter, but you are not alone because the Father is with you. Cling to this blessed promise, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) In every moment of distress, anxiety and perplexity, you have a Father on whose wisdom, truth, and power you can rely.

If your children have needs, they go to you. If they have questions, they ask you. If they are ill-treated, they appeal to you. If a thorn is in their finger, they run to you for relief. Little or great, your children's sorrows are your concern. This makes their life easier, and it should make our lives easier if we acted as God's children. Imitate Jesus. In your Gethsemane, pray as He did, "O My Father" (Matthew 26:42). This is a better defense than shield or sword. Jesus' resource was to approach the Father with prevailing prayer.

There are times when, moved by the Holy Spirit, we pray with a power of faith that can never fail at the mercy seat. Without this impulse, we must not push our will. There are many occasions when, if we had all the faith to move mountains, we would choose wisely if only by saying, "Your will be done." (Matthew 26:42)

Prayer is always an open door. There is no predicament in which you cannot pray. If, like Jonah, you are at the bottom of the ocean and the weeds are wrapped around your head, you may still pray. If you are between the jaws of the lion, you may still pray. Prayer is a weapon that can be used in every position and every conflict. Do not look to the arm of flesh (II Chronicles 32:8), but look to the Lord your God.

Excerpt from 'Beside Still Waters' C.H. Spurgeon, Edited by Roy H. Clarke.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Lord, Have Mercy

When pain goes through you again until the tears unwillingly fall from your eyes, pray this prayer, "Lord, have mercy on me."

Psalm 41:3-4 says, The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness. I said, "O Lord, have mercy on me; heal me..."

I have found when medicine fails, or when sleep is chased away, or when pain becomes unbearable, it is good to appeal directly to God. Say, "Lord, I am Your child. Did You not say, 'As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him?" (Psalm 103:13) Therefore, "Lord, have mercy on me."

When hurting with pain of any sort, you may find quiet resignation, holy patience and childlike submission will enable you to pray this simple prayer, "Lord, have mercy on me." This often brings better relief than anything that the most skilled physician can prescribe. You are permitted and encouraged to look up into Your Heavenly Father's face and say, "Lord, have mercy on me."

Paraphrased from an excerpt titled, 'Be Merciful' from the book titled, 'Beside Still Waters' by C.H. Spurgeon, Edited by Roy H. Clarke.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Nothing but the Blood

I love the rendition of this old hymn, "Nothing but the Blood, by Jadon Lavik. Listen to the profound truth in these lyrics.



Identified with Christ

This week I had a "risk reduction" surgery on November 5th at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. It included a left mastectomy and a right mastectomy revision. It was recommended that I have more margin removed around my former tumor to reduce the risks of recurrence and my left breast removed to reduce the risk of cancer in that breast. Given my various stats, I am high risk for recurrence. It was highly recommended that I take this next course of action.

Yesterday morning, while I was waiting for doctors to come into evaluate me and determine if I could be released from the hospital a scripture reference came to my mind. I asked Rob, what scripture reference is this?

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me."

Rob said, "I believe it's Galatians 2:20 or II Corinthians 5:17."

My next thought was the position I laid during surgery. During a mastectomy surgery your arms are spread horizontally on the operating table like Jesus' were on the cross. This struck me as a new identifier with Christ, my Savior and Lord.

This morning, I looked up Galatians 2:20 in my Bible. Sure enough, that was the scripture reference that was brought to my mind yesterday morning. Today I'm reflecting on what it means to be "crucified with Christ."

Below is an excerpt from a Matthew Henry commentary that gives an excellent description of the mysterious life of a believer in Jesus:

[1.] He is crucified, and yet he lives; the old man is crucified (Rom 6:6), but the new man is living; he is dead to the world, and dead to the law, and yet alive to God and Christ; sin is mortified, and grace quickened.

[2.] He lives, and yet not he. This is strange: I live, and yet not I; he lives in the exercise of grace; he has the comforts and the triumphs of grace; and yet that grace is not from himself, but from another. Believers see themselves living in a state of dependence.

[3.] He is crucified with Christ, and yet Christ lives in him; this results from his mystical union with Christ, by means of which he is interested in the death of Christ, so as by virtue of that to die unto sin; and yet interested in the life of Christ, so as by virtue of that to live unto God.

[4.] He lives in the flesh, and yet lives by faith; to outward appearance he lives as other people do, his natural life is supported as others are; yet he has a higher and nobler principle that supports and actuates him, that of faith in Christ, and especially as eyeing the wonders of his love in giving himself for him. Hence it is that, though he lives in the flesh, yet he does not live after the flesh. Note, those who have true faith live by that faith; and the great thing which faith fastens upon is Christ's loving us and giving himself for us. The great evidence of Christ's loving us is his giving himself for us; and this is that which we are chiefly concerned to mix faith with, in order to our living to him.


Father, thank you for this identifier with you - being crucified with Christ, so that I may live in you and for you. Through you alone, I live and have eternal hope. You are the soul of my soul. I live for you, Lord Jesus. This life I live by faith in the Son of God, believing in Christ as the sacrifice for my sin. Thank you for your sacrificial love. The One who gave himself up for me, that I may be saved from the bitter pains of eternal death. I praise you for this intimate, myterious union with Christ that I might know you more fully, Lord, the power of Your resurrection and the fellowship of Your sufferings. Lord, I live for You, the One who redeemed me by Your Son's precious blood. In Jesus' name, AMEN.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

In ALL Things He Works

I read this quote by Kay Arthur this morning, "At the cross we can look beyond the pain and disappointment to the end result: the promise that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose - and only the cross can conform us into His image."

After I read that, I reflected back to 1988 when I claimed the promise from Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose." In 1988, I was divorced, bankrupt and a single mother. I cried out to Him in desperation, to forgive me of my sinfulness and asked Him to be my Lord and Savior. I claimed that promise from His Word that He'd take my messed up life and turn it into good for His glory, some day, some way.

In 20 years, I can see how He's done this very thing in my life repeatedly. Romans 8:28 has become what I like to call my "life verse." It gives me hope that no matter how bad things may seem, He can use it for good beyond my imagination for HIS purpose - not to make me comfortable or happy, but so I may know Him more fully and acquire more of His character.

In this passage of Scripture, the apostle Paul does not say, "We know that some things or most things, but ALL things work for good. From the smallest to the most monumental, from mundane to crisis moments. ALL of them work - not have worked or will work, but are presently at work. He weaves this tapestry together to create a harmonious pattern He desires for His glory and His purpose so that we will reflect His son, Jesus.

As George Mueller said, "In one thousand trials it is not five hundred of them that work for the believer's good, but nine hundred and ninety-nine of them, and one beside."

In the midst of a year with multiple losses, I embrace the cross, my hope in Christ. My hope in His life at work in me and through me for His good purpose for eternity.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Waiting with Expectation

This morning I read Isaiah 65:24 (New Living Translation) that says:

I will answer them before they even call to me.
While they are still talking about their needs.
I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

I was so encouraged by this promise of answered prayer today, that also tied into the devotional I read from 'Pearls of Great Price,' by Joni Eareckson Tada. She writes:

"If God answers your prayer immediately, be thankful; if it's denied, be patient; if you are to wait, remain eager and expectant. He invites us to have an expectant attitude when we pray. He wants us to be hopeful and eager - even if the answer is delayed for twenty years! Why such a delay? Only God knows."

Lord, Jesus, as You increase my devotion to prayer. I thank you that You hear my voice even before I speak. Help me to trust You, as I wait for Your reply. Give me an expectant heart as I wait eagerly for Your answer. Help me to watchful and thankful as I wait just as it says in Psalm 5:3 - In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

I find it no coincidence this morning that the song playing in my head is "Give Me Jesus," by Fernando Ortega. As I searched on youtube.com for the song, there is a tribute to Ruth Graham with this song. A tribute to a woman of God, a woman of faith, a woman of prayer. Thank you Lord, for her example on this earth.

Colossians 4:2 - Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Sure Foundation

This morning when I sat down to have breakfast I read the passage on the flip calendar sitting on my kitchen table. It said -

"There is no other foundation than God's Word, Beloved! No other is needed, because the Word of God is totally sufficient. If you will embrace the Word of God and bring every dilemma and lay it at the feet of God's Word, then you'll find yourself, like Habbakkuk, walking with hinds' feet and not slipping." - Kay Arthur

The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:19

Once I finished my breakfast I decided to spend some time reading all of Habakkuk chapter 3. The verses that were significant to me this morning were 17-19 where it reads:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL rejoice in the Lord, I WILL be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." (NIV)

In my footnotes it says: "Crop failure and the death of animals would devastate Judah. But Habakkuk affirmed that even in the times of starvation and loss, he would still rejoice in the Lord. Habbakkuk's feelings were not controlled by the events around him, but by faith in God's ability to give him strength. When nothing makes sense, and when troubles seem more than you can bear, remember God gives strength. Take your eyes off your difficulties and look to God.

God will give his followers surefooted confidence through difficult times. They will run like deer across rough and dangerous terrain. At the proper time, God will bring about his justice and completely rid the world of evil. In the meantime, God's people need to live in the strength of his Spirit, confident in his ultimate victory over evil.

Habakkuk saw his own limitations in contrast to God's unlimited control of all the world's events. God is alive and in control of the world and its events. We cannot see all that God is doing, and we cannot see all God will do. But we can be assured that he is God and will do what is right. Knowing this can give us confidence and hope in a confusing world."

Lord God, thank you for the sure foundation of your Word that is totally sufficient. Thank you that when life's circumstances are uncertain and shaky you are the Rock on which I stand - firm and secure. Lord Jesus, forgive me when I give into my feelings and look at circumstances that appear hopeless. Help me to fix my eyes on You, the author and perfecter of my faith and praise you in all things. Call to mind the certain hope I have in You my Savior, who IS my strength. Fill my heart with joy because of that truth. Make it overflow. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My Joy, My Song

Today I was awakened at 5:30 a.m., I drug myself out of bed and met with the Lord. I opened up the ‘Jesus Calling’ devotional and the first Scripture reference was from Exodus 15. I ended up reading all of chapter 15. I felt led to share with you what was laid upon my heart after reading it.

First of all, Exodus 15 is a song of Moses and Miriam. It is a song celebrating God’s victory – lifting hearts and voices outward and upward. After being delivered from great danger, they sang with JOY!

The chapter starts and ends with – “Sing to the Lord for he is highly exalted. The horse and its rider has hurled into the sea.” Let’s sing praises all day today because of the victory we HAVE in Christ. He has overcome. He has hurled the enemy (small e) into the sea.

V9-10
“The enemy boasted, ‘I will pursue, I will overtake them, I will divide the spoils, I will gorge myself on them. I will draw my sword and my hand will destroy them.’
BUT You blew with your breath, and the sea covered them. They sank like lead in the mighty waters.

JESUS IS VICTORIOUS.

v20-21
Then Miriam, the prophetess, Aaron's sister, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women followed her, with tambourines and dancing. Miriam sang to them: "Sing to the Lord, for he is highly exalted. The horse and its rider he has hurled into the sea."

Jesus is my joy and my song.