Movin' Forward and Still Waiting

On March 16th, I met with the oncologist for the first time. At that appointment he ordered two genetic tests with the intent that these results will help guide the decisions about the next phase of my cancer treatment. I was told it would take 14-21 days for the results to be in.

This week (a month since the first visit), the oncologist gave me the results from the BRAC1 & 2 test. Both of them were negative! I am not a gene carrier for breast cancer or ovarian cancer. Those results indicate I have a lower risk for breast cancer to reoccur. Just as important, it reduces the risk for my daughter, Erin & granddaughter, Sydney from battling this disease in the future. I am thankful to God for this wonderful news!

At this same appointment the oncologist apologetically reported that there is yet another delay with the Oncotype DX test results. I need to wait another 10-14 days longer. Sigh. The results of this test will determine whether or not I need chemotherapy and more surgery.

Thankfully, I ended this week with my second opinion appointment scheduled at Mayo Clinic on Wednesday, April 29th.

I'm at a place now, where I desire to move forward and get the next phase of my treatment behind me - whatever that regimen is going to be. I want to know what's next.

I've had to make a choice daily - do I focus on the delays and the failure of man or do I rest in Jesus. Honestly, it's been difficult for me. Some days I get stuck, focused on what didn't work out, reliving the disappointments. I must move on, move forward. I do not understand why God permitted the delays. He knows and understands every disappointment, every loss, every challenge. Before long He will reveal the next steps I need to take on this journey.


Lord, Jesus, I lay my disappointments down before Your throne. Thank You for the wonderful results from the first test. Forgive me for my impatience and desire to control the timetable of this journey. Thank You Father that You have every day of my life recorded in Your book. Help me to wait with a spirit of praise and continue to build my physical stamina for the next phase of treatment. Keep my head lifted up and gazing at You, standing still in Your presence with a heart of gratitude rejoicing in Your love and faithfulness. I know You desire for me to walk by faith not sight, trusting You more completely and resting more fully in Your presence. Thank You for reassuring me that before long, You will direct me in what ways to move forward for my long term benefit. For now, help me to wait a little longer - obediently.

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! - Isaiah 30:18