What's So Good About Suffering? - Part 4

In recent weeks, I have struggled with accepting the physical limitations I am experiencing since receiving treatment for breast cancer, that included chemotherapy and multiple surgeries. I've been frustrated with the rate in which my energy and stamina is building. I didn't anticipate feeling fatigue, brain fog and depression, 18 months after my initial diagnosis.

I'm having to learn to say "no" to certain activities that I really don't want to, but my body is telling me otherwise. As I've wrestled with God about my discontentment, the phrase 'My grace is sufficient,' keeps coming to mind. This phrase is found in II Corinthians 12:7-10. As I read it from The Message version this week, I was comforted. It says:

"...I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down, what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first, I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, then he told me, 'My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size - abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks, I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get the stronger I become."

After reading this passage, I realized some of the benefits of my limitations. First of all, I have been brought to my knees. I may not be able to do as much physically, but I can always pray. I may pray to God in my need and for the needs of others.

These limitations I am experiencing are humbling me. They are causing me to constantly turn to God for strength vs. my own energy or effort.

In admitting my weakness and need for God's strength, it deepens my worship and affirms God's strength.

Please pray with me and for me that I will quit focusing on the limitations, and accept these changes as a gift. A gift that draws me closer to Christ so that His strength may shine through me, not my own energy or efforts.

Romans 12:12 - Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.

If I Hadn't

I've been thinking about the "story" of my life and how God has ordained each and every day of my life. I've been wrestling with the Lord about the numerous trials I've had in my life. I know they are part of the refining process that the Lord has and is using to shape me into the likeness of His Son, Jesus, but some days it is hard to accept them as a gift. Some days I wish my "story" was written differently than it is.

The phrase "If I hadn't" came to my mind this evening. If I hadn't experienced a certain trial then what? What would I have missed or not learned without that pain.

Below I've written a short phrase of some of the trials I've experienced and contrasted it with a benefit that came from it.


If I hadn't been abandoned
I may not have discovered One who will never leave me or forsake me

If I hadn't experienced shame
I may not have turned from my sin and received forgiveness

If I hadn't been spat on
I may not have learned to turn the other cheek

If I hadn't experienced unfaithfulness,
I may not have experienced His great faithfulness

If I hadn't experienced divorce
I may not have met the perfect Bridegroom

If I hadn't been a single mother
I may not have learned to depend on my Father in heaven

If I hadn't experienced bankruptcy
I may not have found my Greatest Treasure

If I hadn't been desperately alone
I may not have found my Sweetest Companion

If I hadn't experienced rejection
I may not have learned humility

If I hadn't experienced depression
I may not have turned to His marvelous Light

If I hadn't grieved the loss of a loved one
I may not have have experienced the fullness of joy,
knowing they are in heaven

If I hadn't experienced the rejection of man
I may not have admitted the idol of my heart, acceptance of man

If I hadn't grieved the loss of a dream
I may not have put my hope on eternity

If I hadn't had breast cancer
I may not have have shared in physical suffering
or discovered new mercies every day

If I hadn't experienced these trials
I may not have realized my deep need for Christ
nor experienced the most profound love of my life