Safe in His Everlasting Arms

Sitting here in the stillness of the night.
Wrapped up in a prayer shawl
that was knit for me by a "stranger"
(a friend of my mother-in-law's from Maryland),
someone I've never met before.

Sensing the warm embrace of my Abba Father.
The tears gently roll down my face
slowly, but steadily.

One of the few moments
since my surgery
when I've really felt much
from my heart.

Reality is setting in.
Anesthetic has worn off.
The pain meds have expired.

Can't deny reality now
when I look in the mirror.
Although, I can't fully look at myself yet.
Too weak.
Too faint.
Too fragile.

This is only the beginning.
The first hurdle He's carried me over.

Chemo is next.
So hard for me to face.
Then I realize I am looking
too far down the road.

I must stay in Your presence
for this very moment.
Only this moment.

Grieve if I must.
Give myself "permission" to do so
for a little while
knowing the waves will rise
then subside
as they have before.

Faithfully You carry me
to the shore.
Safely in Your Everlasting Arms
once more.

Deuteronomy 33:27 - The eternal God is Your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

The Journey of Healing Begins

Well, today is the day of surgery. It's here. In one way I want to turn back the calendar, in another way I relieved it's here. Remove all of that cancer out of my body Lord. You are the Great Physician.

Oh Lord, heal me so that I will be healed; save me that I will be saved, for you are the One I praise. - Jeremiah 17:14

But for me who reveres Your name Oh Lord, may the sun of righteousness rise with healing in its wings. And may I go out and leap like calves from the stall. - Malachi 4:2

Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me all day long. May my family experience Your comfort and peace today as they wait through the surgery.

I love You, Lord. I worship You. I adore You. I trust You, Lord Jesus.

My Help in Need

Last Thursday, two dear sisters in Christ came over to my home to pray with me. One of them read Psalm 121 before we prayed together. This particular Psalm has significant meaning to me. It's one I clung to while my husband, Rob was in Bosnia for nine months, back in 1997. It's a Psalm I prayed numerous times for Rob's protection, but also for me & my children. Since my husband wasn't physically present to be my protector, I learned to rely on Jesus as my Protector. I thank God for His reminder to me that He was our protector then and He will be again.

Those nine months while Rob was away, Jesus drew me closer to Himself. In Rob's absence, I learned a new dependence upon Jesus. He became my sweetest companion.
I can't help but think that is what He will do again not only for me - but also my family. May we know You more intimately Lord, through this time. May we gaze at You more deeply than we have before. May we depend upon You more fully, Lord Jesus. Mostly, may we love You more completely Lord, so that we may reflect Your goodness and mercy on this earth.

Psalm 121
I lift my eyes to the hills -
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip -
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Isreal
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you -
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm -
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Thank you Lord for the comfort of knowing that you never slumber or sleep. You have your watchful eye upon me and my family - now and forevermore. Thank you for being our Helper and Protector - in our time(s) of need.