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Yesterday, after returning from Mayo Clinic for my fourth and final chemo treatment, there was a note on our kitchen counter from a dear sister in Christ who had done some cleaning at our home before Rob & I returned. On the note, she wrote, "I am praying John 14:27 for you and your family. I looked up the Scripture reference this morning. This is what it says:
Peace I leave with you;
My peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
This message came at an opportune time. Yesterday, we met with a surgeon at Mayo Clinic about the possibility of removing my other breast to reduce the risk of cancer occurring in the future. Given my numerous risk factors such as: family history of breast cancer on maternal & paternal sides of my family; dense breast tissue that is more susceptible to breast cancer & difficult to detect on mammograms; I've had invasive breast cancer at a "young" age. Rob & I left the appointment with a definite decision that another surgery is around the bend (tentatively 3-4 months from now).
I have to admit, it depleted our feelings of celebration even though I completed my chemotherapy yesterday, there was a sinking realization that this race against cancer is definitely not over yet. However, we both are in agreement that we want to do whatever is necessary to reduce my risks of recureence. If this is part of that plan, then we walk forward in faith trusting God's sovereignty.
Last week, I read an excerpt from "Streams in the Desert," by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman on this topic of peace and she referenced the Scripture above that my friend left me yesterday. I feel led to share it as part of this entry, along with a song from Laura Story, titled, "Perfect Peace," both have ministered to me through this healing journey.
First the excerpt from "Streams in the Desert."
"Christ's life outwardly was one of the most troubled lives that ever lived: tempest and tumult, tumult and tempest, the waves breaking over it all the time until the worn body was laid in the grave. But the inner life was a sea of glass. The great calm was always there.
At any moment you might have gone to Him and found rest. And even when the human bloodhounds were dogging Him in the streets of Jerusalem, He turned to His disciples and offered them, as a last legacy, "My peace." (As referenced from John 14:27)"
"Rest is not a hallowed feeling that comes over us in church. it is the repose of the heart set deep in God." DRUMMOND
My peace I give in times of deepest grief,
Imparting calm and trust and My relief.
My peace I give when prayer seem lost, unheard;
Know that My promises are ever in My Word.
My peace I give when thou art left alone -
The nightingale at night has sweetest tone.
My peace I give in time of utter loss.
The way of glory leads right to the cross.
My peace I give when enemies will blame,
Thy fellowship is sweet through cruel shame.
My peace I give in agony and sweat,
For mine own brow with bloody drops was wet.
My peace I give when nearest friend betrays -
Peace that is merged in love, and for them prays.
My peace I give when there's but death for thee -
The gateway in the cross to get to Me. - L.S.P.
Lord Jesus, I thank you for Your perfect peace that passes all understanding during this turbulent time. Help us to keep our minds steadfast trusting in You as you say in Isaiah 26:3-4, You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal. In the power of Jesus' name. AMEN.
Lyrics to the song, "Perfect Peace" by Laura Story
Stay close by My side
Keep your eyes on Me
Though this life is hard
I will give you perfect peace
In this time of trial
Pain that no one sees
Trust Me when I say
I will give you perfect peace
And you'll never walk alone
And you'll never be in need
Though I may not calm the storms around you
You can hide in Me
Burdens that you bear
Offer no relief
Let Me bear your load
Cause I will give you perfect peace
Stay close by My side
And you'll never walk alone
Keep your eyes on Me
And you will never be in need
Though this life is hard
Know that I will always give you perfect peace
I will give you perfect peace
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Summer Showers
Summer showers and storms have arrived in our region in recent days and weeks. For me, it's a literal reminder of the rain that my family and I are currently walking through. However, this week, I read an excerpt from "Streams in the Desert," by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman that I could identify with, but also greatly encouraged me. (Read below)
"Testings are raining upon me which seem beyond my power to endure. Disappointments are raining fast, to the utter defeat of all my chosen plans. Bereavements are raining into my life which are making my shrinking heart quiver in its intensity of suffering. The rain of affliction is surely beating upon my soul these days.
Friend, you are mistaken. It isn't raining for you. It's raining blessing. For, if you will but believe your Father's Word, under that beating rain are springing up flowers of such fragrance and beauty as never before grew in that stormless, unchastened life of yours.
You indeed see the rain. But do you see also the flowers? You are pained by the testings. But God sees the sweet flower of faith which is upspringing in your life under those very trials.
Your heart winces from the suffering. But God sees the tender compassion for other sufferers which is finding birth in your soul.
Your heart winces under the sore bereavement. But God sees the deepening and enriching which that sorrow has brought you.
It isn't raining afflictions for you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Spirit, which are bringing into your life such a spiritual enrichment as all the fullness of worldly prosperity and ease was never able to beget in your innermost soul. J.M.McC."
Genesis 41:52 ..."It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."
Lord Jesus, I pray with expectation and hope that You will make my family and I bloom and be fruitful from this rain storm. In Jesus name, AMEN.
"Testings are raining upon me which seem beyond my power to endure. Disappointments are raining fast, to the utter defeat of all my chosen plans. Bereavements are raining into my life which are making my shrinking heart quiver in its intensity of suffering. The rain of affliction is surely beating upon my soul these days.
Friend, you are mistaken. It isn't raining for you. It's raining blessing. For, if you will but believe your Father's Word, under that beating rain are springing up flowers of such fragrance and beauty as never before grew in that stormless, unchastened life of yours.
You indeed see the rain. But do you see also the flowers? You are pained by the testings. But God sees the sweet flower of faith which is upspringing in your life under those very trials.
Your heart winces from the suffering. But God sees the tender compassion for other sufferers which is finding birth in your soul.
Your heart winces under the sore bereavement. But God sees the deepening and enriching which that sorrow has brought you.
It isn't raining afflictions for you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Spirit, which are bringing into your life such a spiritual enrichment as all the fullness of worldly prosperity and ease was never able to beget in your innermost soul. J.M.McC."
Genesis 41:52 ..."It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."
Lord Jesus, I pray with expectation and hope that You will make my family and I bloom and be fruitful from this rain storm. In Jesus name, AMEN.
Monday, June 15, 2009
My Refuge
Last Tuesday evening I had a melt down at the dinner table with my family. The tears streamed down my face, my head held in my hands as I cried out in weariness, "I just want this to be over."
The next morning, I was scheduled to meet with three of my girlfriends for our weekly prayer time, but I didn't even feel strong enough for that. I opened up my "Jesus Calling," devotional and looked up the scripture reference for that particular day, Psalm 62:5. I ended up reading the entire Psalm, the verses that were a comfort for me were 5-8. (read below)
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8
A little later that morning, I received an email from one of the girlfriends I was scheduled to pray with. The three others decided to write their prayers out and send them via email instead of gathering for prayer this week. It was amazing to me how the Lord knit a specific message through separate times of scripture reading and prayer about Him being our refuge.
Here's what one of my friends shared with me:
"Psalm 46 reminds us that You are our refuge, Oh Lord. The definition of refuge is a shelter or protection from danger or distress; a place that provides shelter or protection; a means of resort for help in difficulty. If You are our refuge, that makes us refugees (one that flees for safety; one who flees to a foreign country to escape danger or persecution.) Wow! What a word picture that is and so true of Your awesomeness. Lord, in one way or another all four of us are refugees trying to escape what this world has thrown our way. We face difficulties of letting go, difficulties in our relationships and even difficulties in fleeing to You for safety, shelter and protection. Help us Lord, show us mercy in our weakness and be our refuge. Help us to resort to You with our fears, our pain, our hopelessness, our impatience and all the difficulties that surround us and threaten to pull us away from our rest in You alone. Continually remind us that a refuge is a place that we flee to, not a place that comes to us. We need to flee to You. Help us to see You waiting and to see the lushness of Your presence and to desire to take refuge in You and rest in You."
The very next day, I received a card in the mail from a girlfriend I dearly love who I worked with years ago. In her card she wrote, "God is blessing you right now by offering you refuge in His arms, a safe harbor from the terrible storms of life. Stay strong. Relax, sleep and do all you need to do to gain your strength."
Later this week, I finished reading the book, "The Hiding Place," about Corrie ten Boom, a courageous Christian woman who became a militant heroine of the anti-Nazi underground. She experienced first hand in the concentration camps, as the prophet Isaiah promised, "a hiding place from the wind, a covert from the tempest...the shadow of a great rock in weary land."
Through everyone of these examples, it's as if the Lord was saying to me, "Terri, I AM your hiding place. I will protect you from trouble and surround you with My love. Terri, I AM your shelter from the heat of the day and a refuge and hiding place from the rain and storms of life. Rest in Me, my child. I Am your constant Companion, who sustains you moment by moment. I AM your resting place. I AM your refuge and fortress, whom you can trust."
Lord Jesus, I praise You for being my refuge and my resting place. In Your shelter I am safe and secure. You protect me in this battle called cancer. I am comforted by Your hand of protection upon me. Thank You in the midst of my chemo treatments I can rest in Your love. I can trust You to take care of me and my family, one day at a time. In Jesus' precious name. AMEN.
Psalm 32:7 - You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
The next morning, I was scheduled to meet with three of my girlfriends for our weekly prayer time, but I didn't even feel strong enough for that. I opened up my "Jesus Calling," devotional and looked up the scripture reference for that particular day, Psalm 62:5. I ended up reading the entire Psalm, the verses that were a comfort for me were 5-8. (read below)
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8
A little later that morning, I received an email from one of the girlfriends I was scheduled to pray with. The three others decided to write their prayers out and send them via email instead of gathering for prayer this week. It was amazing to me how the Lord knit a specific message through separate times of scripture reading and prayer about Him being our refuge.
Here's what one of my friends shared with me:
"Psalm 46 reminds us that You are our refuge, Oh Lord. The definition of refuge is a shelter or protection from danger or distress; a place that provides shelter or protection; a means of resort for help in difficulty. If You are our refuge, that makes us refugees (one that flees for safety; one who flees to a foreign country to escape danger or persecution.) Wow! What a word picture that is and so true of Your awesomeness. Lord, in one way or another all four of us are refugees trying to escape what this world has thrown our way. We face difficulties of letting go, difficulties in our relationships and even difficulties in fleeing to You for safety, shelter and protection. Help us Lord, show us mercy in our weakness and be our refuge. Help us to resort to You with our fears, our pain, our hopelessness, our impatience and all the difficulties that surround us and threaten to pull us away from our rest in You alone. Continually remind us that a refuge is a place that we flee to, not a place that comes to us. We need to flee to You. Help us to see You waiting and to see the lushness of Your presence and to desire to take refuge in You and rest in You."
The very next day, I received a card in the mail from a girlfriend I dearly love who I worked with years ago. In her card she wrote, "God is blessing you right now by offering you refuge in His arms, a safe harbor from the terrible storms of life. Stay strong. Relax, sleep and do all you need to do to gain your strength."
Later this week, I finished reading the book, "The Hiding Place," about Corrie ten Boom, a courageous Christian woman who became a militant heroine of the anti-Nazi underground. She experienced first hand in the concentration camps, as the prophet Isaiah promised, "a hiding place from the wind, a covert from the tempest...the shadow of a great rock in weary land."
Through everyone of these examples, it's as if the Lord was saying to me, "Terri, I AM your hiding place. I will protect you from trouble and surround you with My love. Terri, I AM your shelter from the heat of the day and a refuge and hiding place from the rain and storms of life. Rest in Me, my child. I Am your constant Companion, who sustains you moment by moment. I AM your resting place. I AM your refuge and fortress, whom you can trust."
Lord Jesus, I praise You for being my refuge and my resting place. In Your shelter I am safe and secure. You protect me in this battle called cancer. I am comforted by Your hand of protection upon me. Thank You in the midst of my chemo treatments I can rest in Your love. I can trust You to take care of me and my family, one day at a time. In Jesus' precious name. AMEN.
Psalm 32:7 - You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
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