Being Renewed As I Wait

Two months have passed since Pandora's box opened after that routine physical exam. A lot of new information to "process." New medical terms to learn. New medical procedures to experience for the first time. Life changing decisions to make on a flip of a dime. So much I knew nothing about - now familiar.

I'm at an interim period for another week or two. A reprieve from doctor appointments and medical procedures. A time to heal a little more. A time to build physical strength and stamina before the next phase of treatment begins. Learning to wait. A longer duration this go around. Awaiting genetic test results that will help us decide what to do next. Chemotherapy? More surgery?

Learning that my Lord Jesus is near every step of the way on this unfamiliar path. He has permitted this path and allowed it for my benefit and His glory. I don't understand it. I won't pretend to. I may not understand it for several years but, I'm trusting whatever the next phase of treatment is, it will be the best path for me - long term. Perhaps it is also necessary for others who are walking with me or necessary for bystanders watching or for people I have yet to meet on this path.

I am at peace now. No more fear of what's next. Acceptance is growing at a deeper level. I know He's with me. I believe He is good. I trust His ways are best for me. I have hope for my future because of Him. Future blessings will come from this as I trust in Him. He promises that in His Word. He's proven that to me over and over again in my life. He's brought joy in my life from heartache and suffering before, He will do it again.

While I wait another week or two for the next oncology appointment to discuss the next phase of treatment, I am to be still in His presence. Rest, as He renews my strength (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually). Wait quietly. Receive His compassions that are new every morning. Receive His gift of peace that passes all understanding. Marvel at the eternal hope I have because of Jesus' unfailing love for me. The One who died and rose again that I, too, may live. That IS hope I can trust in!

Lamentations 3:21-26 - Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:57 - You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear."

Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

Shalom

Rested. A verb.
Requires action, to do nothing.
But something more than nothing.

Shalom. A noun. Or is it?
Requires nothing, to feel something.
Noun that causes an action.
Feeling becomes Truth.

To rest in Him that I might find shalom.

Jesus, Prince of Peace, have mercy on me, a sinner.

I wrote the above "poem" on my friends blog regarding the Sabbath. A friend of mine, Greg Dolmage, keeps a blog at his church website(www.erc.la/connect-blog)in California. He spoke of the sabbath and to keep it holy and rest in Him. As a type A, outgoing personality, I must be daily reminded to rest in Him. I am the American male...work, work, work. If I am resting, relaxing, taking a deep breath, I feel guilty.

Instead I should feel gratitude to be alive and able to know my Creator at an intimate level. To rest in His Creation. Could overwork be a respectable sin we tolerate? If it is, which I think we all know it is...then I am a sinner that must learn to rest in Him and confess this sin of "busyness." Jesus, the Prince of Peace, watch over me and my household and help me to rest in You so that I may know you more intimately. (Rob)