Blessed to be a blessing

I remember a young woman standing up at a Navigator Collegiate Ministries Conference in Florida talking about a friend. This friend was "messed up," hurting and wounded. The young woman talked about how she felt compelled to just keep loving the hurting college student. Not pressuring her to become a believer, just loving her.

At one point in the relationship the "messed up" girl said to her friend, and I paraphrase: "you haven't given up on me, you are like Jesus, Jesus with skin on."

Jesus began his ministry with these words from Isaiah 61:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners."

Over and over again these past weeks I have felt love from so many friends, followers of Jesus and those that don't yet know His love.

I am reminded of the phrase "blessed to be a blessing." I have felt so much kindness and concern that has so richly blessed my soul. For months now I have been depressed and hurting and yet in the midst of coming to grips that Terri is battling cancer I find joy and hope because others have blessed us. You, our friends and family have been like "Jesus, with skin on" for us.

Your love has awakened again in me the desire to reach out and be a blessing to others.

We do not know how a simple random act of kindness or a purposeful reaching out to someone that is hurting outwardly or brokenhearted inside may just be what is needed to help them find the love of Jesus to mend them physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

His story is lived out daily when we become His hands and feet.

Loving Him, loving others. (Rob)


In 1757, Robert Robinson penned the words to the famous hymn, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. This modern interpretation is one of faith,perseverance, of redemption and forgiveness.

Others before us in this battle

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Again and again woman have come up to Terri and I saying "I beat cancer," or "I have survived cancer," or "I had breast cancer, too." Many women I have known for years and never knew this very personal battle against a foe that at times "wins" in the struggle to survive.

These women, many are believers, some are not, they all share a bond that I will never fully understand as I stand on the sidelines of this race.

The author of Hebrews is asking us to consider all the saints that have lived a life of faith to the point of dying for what they believed. We are being asked to live our lives boldly for Jesus through all the days of our lives.

But I have to wonder in this current battle, could this verse also be saying,

"Look Rob, Look Terri, so many faithful women who trusted in Jesus have lived their lives for Him, this journey you are on won't slow you down. Proclaim His love for you, and share your joy in the hope He has given you. These women have, and they survived so they could share His grace, His peace, His mercy. Persevere. Run the race well."
(Rob)

gradual healing

physical pain dissipates
emotional pain surfaces
in unexpected waves

a letting go
of what was

acceptance
of what is

a slow
gradual
process

new views
being formed
of myself
and life
itself

give me
Your perspective
Lord Jesus
not mine

the beauty of a woman

I remember the first time I walked into Terri's duplex. It was in the evening and a mutual friend had dragged me over to the building. "You two are perfect for each other."
I remember the Bible laying on the floor next to the couch. I remember the white sweatshirt with the postal stamp image of two love birds intertwined.

I remember shortly after dating reading to my girlfriend the words of Solomon, Song of Songs.

"How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves."

Oh, the beauty of my wife. Words do not do you justice. Words I cannot share, but with you alone.

And yet, what is the true beauty of a woman?

After 18 years, it is again Solomon's word's, this time from Proverbs 31.

"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Oh, the beauty of my wife.
Lover of my youth,I love you all the more today.
(your beloved, Rob)

In Sickness and In Health

While I was laying in bed resting the other day, I noticed the wall hanging in our bedroom with familiar wedding vows on it -

"To have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part."

In the past couple weeks, I have a new appreciation for the phrase, "in sickness and in health." Rob & I are just beginning to experience the strain sickness causes upon marriage but there is also beauty in this refinement that we've never experienced before, until now.

There have been times recently when I've seen the pain in Rob's face as he watches my facial expression as I endure a procedure that causes pain. When Rob faithfully helped drain the tube from my chest every day for two weeks it caused me pain, that in turn, hurt him at a heart level. Many times after that procedure we'd hold one another and we'd both cry. He'd apologize profusely. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry it hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

There have been many new, tender moments of heartache we've shared as husband and wife through this process already. Rob desires to protect me from the pain - but knows I must go through it in order to get well. He has been by my side every step of the way. Holding my hand through many necessary, sometimes painful medical procedures, attending every single doctor appointment, listening to test results from my doctors, then asking the hard questions of medical staff, listening to the responses he'd rather not hear about his wife's health, reporting back to family and friends the encouraging news and the disappointments.

There is a sacrifice that comes with supporting and caring for your spouse during a time of illness. It takes perseverance, endurance, and a lot of loving understanding from both parties. Refinement comes in unique ways to the one who is ill and for the one who care gives.

Lord, I thank you for the gift of my husband, Rob. Thank you for the strength and grace You are pouring out upon him to serve me and love me during this time of sickness. I know when I hurt, he hurts too. Comfort him, Lord Jesus. Help him and strengthen him each new day. Fill Rob with Your supernatural kind of love that only You can manifest in him, so that he is able to love me as You ask him to. Father, I ask You to help me esteem him so he knows how much I appreciate him and need him. Lord, strengthen our marriage through this journey as only You are able to, so that we may honor and glorify You through our relationship.

Ephesians 5:21 - Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

a thankful heart in uncertain times

The headlines scream:
Stock market crash! Jobs lost! Fear of the unknown.
Changes unknown.
Foreclosures! and homeless!
Hunger for food. Hunger for hope.
Cancer!?!?!
The whole world around us, our little corner of the world
in a moment, changes.
Cancer!?!?!
Grieving a loss of what was and the possibility of what may lie ahead.
And yet, we are to be thankful in all these times,
the good times and the bad times.
in sickness and in health.
Fears felt. Fears realized.
Faith in His Word. In all things to rely on Him.
Do I?
To be thankful and grateful in all things.
Am I?
It is well with my soul.
Is it?
It is well with my soul.
Is it?
It is well with my soul.
Can I go on?
Grateful.
Am I?
Thankful.
Am I?
In Him.
(my heart cry....Rob)

"So, how's she doing?"

In every letter to the church Paul starts off with a single line. He does add a word "mercy" in a few introductions, but he always starts out...

"Grace and Peace to you"

...the introduction in my life the last few weeks has been,

"how is she doing?"

My response,"fine, she is doing ok. Ok."

But do you really want to know?
Really?
Depressed. Grieving. Hurting. Wounded. Tired.
And yet,
Hopeful. Thankful. Rejoicing. Comforted. Loved. Cared for. Blessed.

Resting in the love of so many.

Resting in her Abba Father's arms.

Grace given by a loving and caring Abba Father.
Peace beyond measure poured out by our Abba Father.

"So, how is she doing?"
Really?

Filled with Grace and Peace.

(Rob)