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Being a woman who likes to look good, it's been difficult to look in the mirror and see a reflection that appears so different. It is only by God's abundant grace I have been able to face the big physical strikes against my femininity and the abrupt changes in my life. He has given me strength, courage and boldness that only He can give. He is with me to face the challenges and the changes that are happening.
I feel far from beautiful when I look in the mirror and see the affects this disease has had on my body, but I must remember it is not the essence of who I am. Fortunately, the Word of God reminds me that God sees beyond the scars of cancer. He looks at my heart. There is a deeper beauty that I cannot control or manipulate that He is in the process of creating IN me as I surrender my heart, mind and soul to Him. He is the only one who can make me beautiful from the inside out, because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.
There are days it's hard to remember that, as I look in the mirror, because our world is so focused on outward appearance. I pray that He will help me focus on the inner work He's doing, not what cancer has done to my physical body.
He says in Psalm 35:4 that those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. May Jesus help me shine because of His work IN me, which is far more important and lasting than my physical appearance.
I Peter 3:3-4 - Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
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3 comments:
Terri, I immediately wanted to leave you a comment with the verse from I Peter...but I saw that you had it at the end of your blog entry! Great minds think alike. :) You not only exemplify this verse about inner beauty, you are still beautiful on the outside too. Cancer may have changed some things, but it has not robbed you of your beauty. You are gorgeous! :)
Terri, I can 100% and more to identify with you. I had both sides removed due to breast cancer, in 1985 and in 2001. I once felt people would notice my loss(actually people could not remember which side then, and they dare not to ask anything), I even had emotional temper to want to buy a new shirt, very loose so that people won't notice. in 2001, i lost the other side, but i got a newer and deeper life in Him. It is worth the lose if we gain Him deeper and more. i felt your sadness this moment, but i thank the Lord for your talents in expressing your thoughts so well, and for your hunger desires in knowing Him, so want to be like Him. all the messages you wrote are very very strong and encouraging. i did not have a blog in 2001, i just wrote on the prayer request of trinity church and i did not keep the writings. but i remembered some people made some comments. i hope that i have those writings with me. it is the record of the journey with Jesus and His glory and faithfulness. do not be afraid. it will soon be over and you will be o.k. i like the picture of both of you. it is beautiful. praise Him for you both. this is just momentary. i know it because i had been there. love you. stay under His wings, alice
Terri, I can 100% and more to identify with you. I had both sides removed due to breast cancer, in 1985 and in 2001. I once felt people would notice my loss(actually people could not remember which side then, and they dare not to ask anything), I even had emotional temper to want to buy a new shirt, very loose so that people won't notice. in 2001, i lost the other side, but i got a newer and deeper life in Him. It is worth the lose if we gain Him deeper and more. i felt your sadness this moment, but i thank the Lord for your talents in expressing your thoughts so well, and for your hunger desires in knowing Him, so want to be like Him. all the messages you wrote are very very strong and encouraging. i did not have a blog in 2001, i just wrote on the prayer request of trinity church and i did not keep the writings. but i remembered some people made some comments. i hope that i have those writings with me. it is the record of the journey with Jesus and His glory and faithfulness. do not be afraid. it will soon be over and you will be o.k. i like the picture of both of you. it is beautiful. praise Him for you both. this is just momentary. i know it because i had been there. love you. stay under His wings, alice
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