If I Hadn't

I've been thinking about the "story" of my life and how God has ordained each and every day of my life. I've been wrestling with the Lord about the numerous trials I've had in my life. I know they are part of the refining process that the Lord has and is using to shape me into the likeness of His Son, Jesus, but some days it is hard to accept them as a gift. Some days I wish my "story" was written differently than it is.

The phrase "If I hadn't" came to my mind this evening. If I hadn't experienced a certain trial then what? What would I have missed or not learned without that pain.

Below I've written a short phrase of some of the trials I've experienced and contrasted it with a benefit that came from it.


If I hadn't been abandoned
I may not have discovered One who will never leave me or forsake me

If I hadn't experienced shame
I may not have turned from my sin and received forgiveness

If I hadn't been spat on
I may not have learned to turn the other cheek

If I hadn't experienced unfaithfulness,
I may not have experienced His great faithfulness

If I hadn't experienced divorce
I may not have met the perfect Bridegroom

If I hadn't been a single mother
I may not have learned to depend on my Father in heaven

If I hadn't experienced bankruptcy
I may not have found my Greatest Treasure

If I hadn't been desperately alone
I may not have found my Sweetest Companion

If I hadn't experienced rejection
I may not have learned humility

If I hadn't experienced depression
I may not have turned to His marvelous Light

If I hadn't grieved the loss of a loved one
I may not have have experienced the fullness of joy,
knowing they are in heaven

If I hadn't experienced the rejection of man
I may not have admitted the idol of my heart, acceptance of man

If I hadn't grieved the loss of a dream
I may not have put my hope on eternity

If I hadn't had breast cancer
I may not have have shared in physical suffering
or discovered new mercies every day

If I hadn't experienced these trials
I may not have realized my deep need for Christ
nor experienced the most profound love of my life