Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

At my first chemo treatment, my oncologist went over the side effects of the chemotherapy drugs she warned me that one of the side effects from adriamycin is hair loss. It was at the top of the list. She said I could expect my hair to fall out approximately 14 days after my initial chemo treatment.

Sure enough, just as she predicted, my hair started falling out more excessively 14 days later.

Thankfully, (with a nudge from my husband, because I had been fighting denial) I scheduled an appointment with my beautician to come to our home on that 14 day marker. My initial hope was that I'd only have to cut it shorter then buzz it off the next time. That wasn't meant to be.

On that morning of the 14th day, after I'd showered and went through my usual morning routine of dressing, drying and styling my hair, putting on my makeup, etc. I thought I'm going to see what will happen if I gently clasp my fingers around my hair at the nape of my neck and gently pull. I wanted to see how much might come out because I'd been noticing for several days it had been falling out more and more, as well as my skelp was feeling tingly. I wasn't terribly surprised when the hair came out with ease. I clasped some more hair between my fingers at the nape of my neck and did it several more times until I covered the basin of the sink with my hair as evidence to show my husband, daughter and beautician that today was the day my hair would be going.

I called my husband and daughter into the bathroom to show them the hair in the sink. We all stood in a daze, then we embraced one another, shared tears of sorrow. Sorrow of having to walk through this and recognizing yet another level of reality sinking in about the path yet before us.

An hour later, my beautician showed up at our home. I took her to the bathroom to show her the hair in the sink. She said if it's coming out that easily it will only be a matter of a couple days and it will all be falling out in clumps. She hugged me with tear filled eyes and reassured me that it will grow back.

We got the dining room set up as a temporary salon. Placed a drop cloth under my chair and positioned me in front of a mirror we have in the dining room so I could watch the progression of my hair being cut shorter. She cut it off in stages. Little by little my graying, blond locks dropped to the floor and the clipper heads were changed numerous times. When I got to the butch hair cut I had to make sure I got a photo for our son, Derek because he said to me the day before, "It's not every day you and I will have the same haircut, Mom!" Our daughter looked on in sadness with tears rolling down her face. I looked into the mirror in wonder, laughing, smiling, joking about the various hair styles I've had in times past when I was a child - the dreaded pixie and shags!

I'm still not use to passing by a mirror and seeing myself without the center piece of my appearance gone. I can say, it sure saves a lot of time getting ready in the morning! I'm learning to style and wear a wig and experimenting with hats and scarves as a new form of assessory. My favorite hat so far is one my husband bought for me. It's a lavendar, baseball type cap that says, "Life is Good!" I actually believe, "Life is Hard, but God IS good!" I think this cap may become a "signature" as I walk through this phase of my treatment.


Lord Jesus, I am amazed at the grace You poured out upon me for this very day that I had been dreading and hoping wouldn't happen. I lay my appearance before Your throne of grace. Thank You for teaching through this experience the meaning of true beauty. As You say in Your Word (I Peter 3:3-4), You desire the inner beauty of a gentle, quiet spirit which is of great worth in Your sight. I ask You to carve that into my heart, mind and soul in a deeper level than You ever have before. Peal away the vanity and pride in me by Your loving and patient ways, so that I may glorify You more fully. In Jesus Name, I ask this. AMEN.